7.12.2011

The Guest Post About Having an Inside Baby Versus an Outside Baby

Today's rabbit chasing is brought to you by Shannon from Shannanigans. I haven't the foggiest of how I came to follow her blog. All I know is one day I read a stranger's post about being pregnant and I cracked up. I suppose I kept going back because I wanted to know how the bun in the oven turned out. It turned out stinkin' adorable. Shannon is also crafty & handy in the kitchen. But not in that way that makes you want to poke her eyes out. 

coughMarthaStewartcough.
Well hellooo there. My name is Shannon and I can be found crowding up the internet over at Shannanigans. But today? Today may be the greatest day of my blogging career ( I say "career" loosely because I'm a stay at home mom now so I need to feel validated) because I'm filling in for Jamie, one of my blog heroes. I read her for the same reason you do...the girl's got a stellar sense of humor. And I'm ecstatic that she handed over the keys to The Rabbit.

Okay. I've been a mom now for almost a year. One year of rearing an outside (of the womb) baby. In that year, I've gone lots of places with my baby. And with that baby comes lots of baby junk...things like diaper bags, cheerios, sippy cups, strollers, etc, etc. 

Now seeing as I am pretty inexperienced in this whole mothering thing, I'm usually fumbling and bumbling with this stuff everywhere I go. In my head I want to have it all together but there is no smooth way to wrangle all this junk. So when a kind soul holds the door open for me & my stroller or picks up a wayward squeaky toy in the parking lot, I am overwhelmed with appreciation. Unfortunately this rarely happens. 

But let me backtrack for a second...

When you're visibly pregnant, strangers fall all over themselves to make life easier for you. They offer train seats. They offer stories and advice they believe to be helpful. They take an interest in your growing fetus and want to know when you're inside (the womb) baby is going to make their grand entrance. 

Old ladies may try to grope your growing stomach and elderly men may make inappropriate, albeit harmless, jokes. Other moms may smile knowingly at your hand-on-the-back waddle and children may stare at your ever-expanding gut. An inside baby is full of potential for everyone. And everyone is happy to celebrate it.

But once that bouncing bundle of spit-up arrives, you, as a mother, are forced to take it home, sans owner’s manual, and raise it. Of course, your little outside baby is pretty much the most perfect thing on earth and soon, you learn how to venture outdoors with it. And people will ooohh and ahhh over that baby and tell you how precious he or she is. Complete strangers will want to know how much they weigh and what you named him or her. They'll ask questions and they'll poke their dirty fingers in your pristine baby carriage. 

You know what they won't do? They won't offer to help you. 

All of a sudden, you are invisible. They don't notice the eight grocery bags that need to be loaded into your car. They won't notice you struggling to get through the door with your 30 pounds of crap. They won't pick up that wayward sippy cup that your mostpreciousangel threw into the street. Your cute-faced kid will only get you so far.

So I'm here today to implore you to help a mom out. You can spot us easily. Hold the door open for us at TJ Maxx. Let us check out ahead of you since we only have a pack of baby wipes and a bag of Hershey kisses. Dismiss the cat-hair covered yoga pants we're clearly wearing for the 3rd day in a row. A small gesture will make our day. 

Just don't offer to hold our baby. That's just creepy.

12 comments:

  1. That is really a good post Shannon! Being 22 and in grad school I have not yet experienced said pregnancy boat but this is great to know. That's true. Even I've noticed people helping out pregnant women around town but once you have a baby and have your hands even MORE full it'd be great to get some help. I'll be aware when I'm walking around to spot any moms that need help! Thanks for a great post.

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  2. Bouncing bundle of spit up. HILARITY FRIEND! 

    Hello, Jamie! I'm Shannon's buddy Sarah. 

    Inside babies are much tidier. 

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  3. I love this! Another awesome post Shannon! So sad, yet so true! Now if only we could get this post out to the rest of the world...I am on that!

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  4. You're scaring the shit out of me Shannon!  ;)

    LB

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  5. Jen @NotesFromtheHeartlandJuly 12, 2011 at 12:48 PM

    Ah, you get me everytime with your witty repartee Shannon. ;-)  Give TWO outside babies a whirl...prescription narcotics begin to look like a nice thing. hehehe

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  6.  Yes, yes, and yes.  Except at Publix, where they do offer to help but I somehow have an aversion to letting a bag boy help me out to the car - it feels almost too luxurious.  So today, I was unloading my own groceries and wrangling my 4 year old and 6 month old, while the lady next to me, who had no children with her, was waiting impatiently for me to move so that the BAG BOY could load her groceries in for her.  While she stood and watched.  And then she turned to me, as I was hefting my children in the car, and said disgustedly, "I NEVER bring my children grocery shopping with me."

    Oh.  Well there you have it.  I obviously should have left them at home.

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  7. I'm also childless and not really that thoughtful when there's food around, so it was helpful for me too!

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  8. Hi Sarah. Now you can be my buddy too. I'm clingy.

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  9. The good news is my audience, although not the rest of the world, is full of the childless who might need a nudge.

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  10. You should have run her down like Evelyn Couch in Fried Green Tomatoes. Or loved her with the love of Jesus. Either way...

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  11. Meredith DavenportJuly 12, 2011 at 9:56 PM

    Hilarious!!!

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