The Post About Ear Candy

This week is the anniversary of getting my pierced ears. I wish what I'm about to share was a cool flashback to me and my 4th grade circle of peeps in matching friendship bracelets hitting up Claire's at the mall.

No. This is the story of a woman, aged 31, driving alone on an Alabama road and feeling empty. Feeling worn out. And not a Swatch watch in sight. The only dreamy element that remains is Claire's.

I picked out a lovely pair of expensive hypoallergenic safety regulated posts, which made me wonder who buys the cheap allergy-inducing FDA unapproved jewelry. The Manager (a woman I concluded must be thoroughly trained, although she was aged 16 and 7 months) put me at ease as the women of 30, 40, and 50 stared at me as if they had seen a three-eyed cat. I recognize I was holding a Claire's teddybear, but really, what was the big deal?

Friends had assured me there would be no pain. However, just like childbirth, you seem to forget the agony once you have something new and shiny. It was more than a little uncomfortable. I actually started to tear up. A vision of grabbing the piercing gun and shooting the tween in control may or may not have flashed before my eyes. I asked my potential victim if kids ever backed out of getting the second ear done (since I was considering it myself.) She said, "All the time." Their remedy for this is to have two associates pierce the ears at the same time. However, she recounted an event from the day before about a 9-year-old who refused to have her second ear pierced. Even after 30 minutes of pleading and even explaining what would be her new "left is wrong, right is wrong" look - the girl stood her ground and walked out with one pierced ear. You have to give her props for integrity.

As for me - I tried to remember I was a grown woman and people were staring. I'm pleased to announce that I type this with two healthy and happy pierced lobes.

They're happy because I have an addictive personality which keeps them dressed quite nicely.

Any traumatic experiences you'd like to share?


  1. Kristi worked at Claire's in Jasper mall for a while after high school. She has some great stories. Sadly, some of those involved guys asking if she pierced anything besides ears.

  2. I didn't get my ears pierced until I was about 18. (Strangely enough when I got my nose pierced I wasn't nearly as freaked out).

  3. Sh: Awkward.
    Sa: At least when you get your ears pierced, you can't really see the gun. But your nose? That's Post Traumatic Stress waiting to happen.

  4. You should get more stuff pierced. It's fun.

    (Insert response of how my multiple piercings is a desperate attempt to appear younger here.)

  5. Well, Sam, you had less to lose.


    Please don't hurt me.

  6. HA, people today know nothing of the true art of ear piercing! I was 11 years old when I got my ears pierced for the first time. The paraphernalia used included: 1 orange, 1 giant sewing needle and 2 pieces of ice. My aunt executed said procedure by placing 1 piece of ice on the front of my earlobe and one piece of ice behind my earlobe. She held the ice there long enough for the lobe to go numb, removed the ice, placed the orange behind the now frozen lobe and jabbed the needle through. She pulled the orange away from the needle and left the needle in my ear until the tissue got used to it being there. The needle was then removed and an earring was inserted. Yes, this was a lengthy and horribly painful process. No quick "click" for me. All this to say, what softies girls are today who can't suffer through a "pinch" to get their ears pierced - they have no idea what piercing pain is, unless they are getting unmentionable body parts pierced. But for the ears -- be brave. At least you didn't have to endure a needle and an orange! :-)

  7. C: It's good when you can anticipate the insult.
    BH: My head is simply slightly larger than average. Slightly.
    BR: This sounds like a scene deleted from Grease. I'm impressed!


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