The Post About How To Make Friends as an Adult

Leslie is having a baby next month. She's ridiculously cute.

It's annoying.

Let's be honest. We want those who are never fat who are getting fat to look fat. I can say that about Leslie, because we're friends.

Leslie and I didn't grow up together or meet at college where many great friendships find their origin. We met at church. We saw each other occasionally in the halls or near the doughnuts, and we liked each other immediately. But we were in our thirties. Could we become friends?

Jerry Seinfeld suggests no.



He's not wrong. Making friends as an adult is challenging. My friend Kara, who I've been best friends with since 1993, knows all my secrets. ALL OF THEM. She also knows the easy stuff like I love guacamole and guys with nice forearms and sitting at restaurant tables far from toddlers.
We have a shorthand that's delightful.

But even still, Kara and I don't connect on everything. She thinks Twitter is weird. Shopping is boring to her. Her career doesn't define her. She does not find The Bachelor riveting.

That's where Leslie comes in... Leslie boldly came up to me one Sunday and said "I'm going to need us to go to breakfast and become friends."

We did both.

Here are my tips for doing the same:

1. Find strangers. Take a class, join a club, volunteer, or join a gym. Also, look at the activities you're already doing and see who's around. Do you like any of those people? Maybe you spend all your time on social media - who's there that you like? My real-life friend Erin was a stranger I met on Twitter. We both loved books, music, Doctor Who and snark. One day, she suggested we meet for coffee. She brought me a cupcake and we've been friends ever since.

2. Find non-strangers. Who are your friends' other friends? Do any of them love the things you love? What about your friends' significant others? What about the people you went to school with who have grown up to be interesting adults. Facebook is a great screening tool. Look at the folks you haven't unfollowed and consider seeing them in person.

3. Speak up. When you're around someone you think might become a friend - talk to them. Ask questions, learn their story and share yours. It doesn't have to be a 3 hour meal, but snippets of conversation can lead to learning all about a person. Be vulnerable, not dramatic. Be transparent, not codependent.

4. Don't give up. I'm not suggesting stalking your prospects, but people can be shy or distracted or in a busy season. Don't be afraid to keep putting forth effort to get to know someone.

5. Don't look for a BFF. Sometimes we think we need the types of friends who will be in our wedding or be the godparent to our kids. Lower the bar. Look for a book friend or sports friend or parenting friend or neighbor friend or a Real Housewives of Atlanta friend or one of each. Simply fill in your gaps.

Quality friendships are ridiculously valuable and they require real effort. Until they don't. The effortless friendship is worth any awkward pursuit.

How do you make friends as an adult? 

The Post About Beth Moore Thinking My Mom was a Drug Dealer

My last post was inspired by an article on Christianity Today "What Happens When We See Women Teach the Bible."

This piece made complete sense because of two women: Jan Golden and Beth Moore.

The former, my mother, has been an adult Sunday School teacher for as long as I can remember. Her Bible riddled with notes and lines highlighting scripture that resonates.

The latter has been a staple on my bookshelf since the 90s. The first book she published was the first I read: To Live is Christ. My long-suffering relationship with the apostle Paul (I'm Peter in every bumbling, brash way) was resolved with this detailed study.

These two women of God recently collided.

On Twitter, I follow both Beth Moore and her daughter, Amanda Jones. Therefore, I see their tweets to each other in my timeline.

This is a simple and sweet exchange. I replied.

This is a picture of my Mom's cell phone. She has to add minutes to it at a kiosk. It's untraceable by the FBI.

Beth, kindly replied.

YOU GUYS. She thought my mom was an actual drug dealer. It was the most magical moment I've ever had on Twitter. Including that time I had to win over Natalie Grant.

For the record, it's a Baptist church, so no good wine - just grapefruit juice.

My next move was to call my mother and read this exchange verbatim to her.

I did. It still includes a welcome window reading "Merry Christmas from Me" when she turns it on.

FOR EIGHT YEARS.

I'm so glad Jan and Beth met.

The Post About My 2014 Annual Report

2014 was weird and wonky and wonderful.

It was 12 months without a regular full-time job and discovering God can be trusted in word and in deed.

It was 52 weeks filled with road trips and coffee shops and new friends and learning you can still eat out at fun restaurants if you stop eating out at crappy ones.

It was 365 days of laughter and gritting my teeth and discipline and understanding the beauty of the unplanned.

It was a year of sabbath for a very weary heart.

This is a little recap and celebration of chasing rabbits again in 2015.

 

2015 will be different. Not because I have concrete plans, but because I don't.

Let's wander through this year together.

Twitter / Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest / Top Secret Rabbits

The Post About Why The Internet is Not The Worst

I took the summer off from blogging. Now I'm back.

Enough about that.

Often, the Internet can be a pot to boil all of our bitter and our furrowed brows and the steam that rises is SO DRAMATIC.

However, the Internet can be better than that. Learning and sharing and connecting.

The Internet is where I learned:

• Jessie J can actually sing. 
• I should enable two-factor authentication on important accounts so my nude photos** don't get hacked.
• Why we have eyebrows.
• How to pluck perfect eyebrows.

**cloud pics

The Internet is where I shared:

• The best part of the recent Emmy Awards ceremony.
• Bill Cosby's response to Victoria Osteen's comments about God's greatest goal for us.
• Ann Voskamp's eloquent words about what the church should about suicide and depression.
• A goat who may or may not be me in the first grade.

The Internet is where I connected to:

Just a sample of folks, like you, whom I adore.

What has the Internet done for you lately?

The Post About What Happens At The Party

Jamie's Rabbits is a safe place. It's just you and me here so let's confess.

What's the strangest thing that's ever happened to you at a party? 

This happened to me tonight.

As the photographer and my friend Stephanie Parker said "It's not a party until you start measuring head size."

The Post About A Song for Graduates

There's a lot of advice out there for graduates.

A few of my favorite recent speeches were given by Mindy Kaling at Harvard and Rainn Wilson at USC.

However, there's something missing at these graduation ceremonies...a great class song. Not an alma mater, but an actual song that some trio of capped and gowned graduates sings in harmony to canned music over bad speakers.

When I graduated high school, my classmates chose a song written a decade earlier. Not a classic ode to change or hope or wisdom.

They chose The Theme from St. Elmo's Fire.

THE LOVE THEME.



That's not all. There were lyrics for our capped and gowned singers.

We laughed until we had to cry
And we loved right down to our last goodbye
We were the best I think we'll ever be
Just you and me
For just a moment
We chased that dream we never found
And sometimes we let one another down
BUT THE LOVE WE MADE
Made everything alright
We shone so bright
For just a moment

YOU GUYS?!?!

I respectfully request a do-over. I nominate and unanimously choose "What'd I Say" by Ray Charles.



This song was originally composed at the end of a concert in 1958 when Charles and his orchestra had 12 minutes left to fill. Both the lyrics and music were entirely improvised on the spot.

Life Lesson #1: Sometimes your best work will happen when you throw out the business plan and the marketing strategy and just do it.

Charles doesn't begin singing until a minute and 30 seconds have passed.

Life Lesson #2: Be slow to speak, and quick to listen.

The song is almost seven minutes long. Most songs played on the radio at the time were two and a half minutes. Radio and record executives balked at the length but Charles stood by every second.

Life Lesson #3: What you create or your choices won't always make sense. That's okay.

Billboard magazine initially gave "What'd I Say" a tepid review: "He shouts out in percussive style ... Side two is the same." Charles' label, Atlantic Records, pushed the single despite a lack of critical acclaim. Within weeks, the track topped out at number one on Billboard's R&B singles chart, number six on the Billboard Hot 100, and it became Charles' first gold record.

Life Lesson #4: Not everyone will be on your team, but the ones who matter will be.

While the Beatles were developing their sound in Germany, they played "What'd I Say" at every show. When Mick Jagger sang for the first time with the band that would become the Rolling Stones, he performed a duet of "What'd I Say." The Animals, Steve Winwood, the Beach Boys, and Van Morrison counted the song as a major influence on why they were interested in music. It's been covered by Elvis Presley, Eric Clapton, Sammy Davis, Jr., Jimi Hendrix, Roy Orbison, Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, Willie Nelson, Billy Joel, Etta James  and Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Life Lesson #5: Leave a legacy.

What was your class song? What would you add to a graduate's playlist?

The Post About Working Out God's Story

Four days after God texted me to quit my job, I attended Storyline, a conference I'd registered for six months earlier. The event is intended to help folks create a life plan. I'm glad God knew I'd need a life plan six months before I did.

In Session Two, I wrote down three sentences that would haunt me AND anchor me for the season that was ahead.

1. Define one primary ambition. 

While I worked out my notice, I was asked to teach a class at my church that helps folks discover their personality, gifts, and purpose in life. Who better to use as an illustration than me? I spent an enormous amount of time asking friends what they thought my strengths were, looking at my passions and talents, and considering all the ways I found fulfillment. And I prayed.

In a few weeks, I realized my heart and skills and experience were the perfect match for an organization I was already connected to who had a huge need in the realm of social media. So I listened to "Oceans" by Hillsong United on repeat and submitted a proposal for a job that did not exist.

They read it, responded to it, and wheels began to turn. Slowly. It has become my one primary ambition. Whether it becomes my full-time, 401(k) job or I simply get to do it as a volunteer gig, I'm all in.

2. People-pleasing will kill your story.
At Storyline, John Richmond said "Don't measure yourself with the same ruler others use to measure you." I'm a recovering people pleaser. Quitting my job has sent me back to people pleasing rehab on almost a weekly basis. I want friends and family and even you to feel confident and reassured about the decision I've made. Especially in the waiting. I've considered jobs and moves that aren't remotely related to the one primary ambition simply to put people at ease.

This is when it's so important to have an inner circle who will root for you, pray for you, hold you accountable, and expect nothing from you but obedience to God. They're not afraid to ask hard questions and also not afraid of the sometimes weird, wonky answers.

3. Filter out even the good stuff.
Earlier this month, I was offered a dream job working for a dream boss. My days would be spent doing good work for good people. It was only two degrees off from my primary ambition.

The decision to say "no" was harder than almost anything I've ever done. Truly. When I spoke to the dream boss who wasn't to be, he said "My biggest fear wasn't that you would say no, but that you would say yes and in three months you'd be feeling nothing but regret."

THAT MADE ME WANT TO WORK FOR HIM EVEN MORE. Yet, it increased my confidence I had made the right call.

So I continue to wait. But actively wait.

Isaiah says it like this: "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

Running. Walking. Eagle Wing-ing.

I'm still all in.

The Post About Picking Up Strange Habits

My parents are delightful.



They've taught me many things. My dad taught me how to mow the grass, although I refuse to do it. My mom taught me to sew, although I refuse to do it. They also taught me to be adorably codependent on those who can cut grass and sew.

Hopefully, they've also planted seeds of compassion and kindness and approaching the world with as much humor as I can stand.

Their real legacy though, is a few of the small quirky things they taught me that linger even now.

All medicines belong in the kitchen. I'm guessing this was because the worst headaches came at the prospect of cooking dinner for the one thousandth night in a row.

Sunday nights are for popcorn. We would always come home from church and cook popcorn on the stove and watch one of four channels on TV. Magic.

Wedding napkins are a collector's item. Those cocktail napkins embossed with a couple's names and the date are surely worth stacking up in a cabinet. Even if there are hundreds.

Candy should be eaten in an orderly fashion. Specifically by color and number. My mother assures me this isn't a medical diagnosis, just the right way to do things.

Do you have any unique habits you picked up from your family?

{images: Jamie}

The Post About How To Be Better at Instagram

It was recently reported that Instagram is doubling its base number of users every year. Currently, there are more than 200 million monthly active users. That's a lot of pictures of clouds.

Since there are new folks jumping on board every day, I thought I'd share some insight on how to be a better Instagrammer.

I don't necessarily consider myself an Instagram expert, but I have been an active user since March, 2011, and I have never used the Kelvin filter. Those are decent credentials.

Let's start with a list of things people don't particularly fancy on Instagram. This is based on HARD CORE scientific data collection on my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter:

Not Pictures:

• Laura Tucker Gallitz: Anything that's not a picture - like cute/inspirational/funny sayings. Have they not heard of Pinterest?
• Laura McClellan: Memes or something that is not your original content.
• Sonja Lange: My kids said "shout outs."
• Matt Cuthbert: Screen captures - esp. of whatever music someone's listening to.
• Jen Clapp: Typed quotes (aka not pictures.)
• Mariah: Screen shots of your Facebook status/note app.
• Jason Gausta: Videos.

Body Parts:

• Stephanie Parker: Feet.
• Jodie Dardeau: People with better bodies than me. No fair.
• Eleanor Mathis: Beach + knees pics. BORED.
• Michelle Holland: Breast feeding mothers or any pic where their breast or nipple is showing.
• Kelly Olsakovsky: It's worth a second mention. Feet.
• Laura Wilder: Injury pictures make me gag!
• Brandi: Wounds.
• Katy McCay: Injuries, low cut tops,

Creepy Animals

• Katie Earley: Bugs. Dead animals.
• Shawn Stinson: Pics of the snake/deer/squirrel/rabbit/turkey you killed today.
• Joy Sowell: Pictures of snakes!

Yourself

• Lance Moore: Selfies.
• Julie King: Selfies!
• Kari Lipp: Drunk selfies.
• Ed Cyzewski: I'm not sure whether I dislike selfies or foodstagram's more. Although foodstagrams look REALLY silly when people are actually taking them.
• Shawn Stinson: Selfies with worship song lyrics or bible verses as the caption.
• Vickie Aldridge: Selfies are a biggie. Unless they are artsy or creative, Otherwise I don't like the same face different day and location.
• Dawn Reiss: The "artistic" selfies, one after another.
• Tiffany Olsen: Selfies with duck face. Selfies from above. Selfies from below. Selfies in the car. Selfies with serious face. Selfies with a...

Bad Captions

• Kayla Perry: •• G I R L S typing like // T H I S •• in their captions. And having Bible verses as the caption of their selfies. No ma'am. Please stop.
• Kristin Graham: Ones that need an explanation, but are posted without a caption.
• Angela: Photos with a trillion hashtags.
• Maranda Cranford: #hashtagsthatarefullsentences. 
• Molly Gentry: Photos that have to have multiple sentences to explain why it's worthy to post. 

Poor Pictures

• Leigh Kramer: Unpretty things, like piles of laundry, scary insects, wounds, or screaming children. Not even a filter can fix that.
• Chris Callahan: Blurry/grainy/out of focus/dark/etc and not in an artistic way. Lazy gram is not appreciated.
• Katy McCay: Blurry, out of focus or just bad pics (it's ok to take 100 and use 1, why don't people know that?)
• Burrill Strong: Badly overexposed sunset/sunrise shots. If you have to tell me it was beautiful, your photo wasn’t good enough to post. Any photo that obviously had an Instagram filter applied. 
• Meredith Davis: Murky, gooey, super close up food shots using a flash...
• Amy Payne: Generic, unremarkable sky shots.

Miscellaneous Grumpiness

• Ryan Leigh Runyon: When someone's personal IG suddenly becomes a hard-sell business IG.
• Sarah Miller: Essential oils. "Hand lettering." Outfit of the day. Workout outfits. Screen shots of the music you're listening to. Coffee. When it's your friend's birthday so you post a collage of photos that is really a collage of your self and your friend just happens to be in the photos too.
• Jared Hollier: I don't like when people post half a dozen pics in a row.
• KJaco: Photos of black coffee (just because it's brewed in a different way doesn't mean it's cool), multiple photos in a row from the same event/same people, photos or screenshots of inspirational quotes.
• Rachel Callahan: Writing and only writing of any variety. Wounds, toes, bleeding animals (usually dead), nearly empty plates, extremely grainy anything, cleavage, mom jeans.

But let's be honest. This is America. You can do what you want. If you want to post a slightly blurry selfie of you with a bloody knee and no shoes holding a dead squirrel with a Bible verse above your head, then YOU DO IT.

But know this: folks probably won't click like. They will probably unfollow you. And you'll miss out on the "social" part of this social network.

So how do you increase the interacting? I took my five most liked pictures of all time and came to some conclusions.


First, it's a decent picture. Centered, good light, and it captures a moment most folks can relate to. Then I added a caption to juxtapose the fancy scene: Directing a wedding. Had to tell a groomsman: "If you smoke that joint in this processional, I will cut you. And by 'cut you,' I mean I will find a dull knife and stick it in your neck." YOU GUYS?!? 

Instagram is a great way to be a storyteller - not just in images. Plus, I asked my followers to share their thoughts. 


Photos of food are a deal breaker for many so I rarely post them. The key is to get an interesting shot that's well composed and sitting in fantastic light. Most restaurants are simply too dark, which is why most Instagram food fails happen. Eat outside or by a window during the day. Also, consider the menu item: does it sound like something people would love at just the thought of it? Like sweet tea fried chicken with white barbecue sauce with a side of fried pickles. Pick this combo up at Saw's Juke Joint in Birmingham.

Follow Helene Dujardin and let her inspire better food photos. If you are super serious about it, buy her book Plate to Pixel.


Remember what I said about storytelling? Instagram is a great way to invite people into your life. I want my feed to be a reflection of every part of who I am. Although this picture wasn't quite the quality I would have liked, the caption explains why it works: In January 2013, I named a green Lifesaver after a coworker and prayed for her every time I saw it in my purse. Today she got baptized and I ate the best piece of candy ever.

Be vulnerable. Don't just share the surface or the pretty parts of life. Be 3D, even in the 2D.


Outside is a common Instagram theme and I LOVE IT. I like flowers and sunsets and oceans and buildings and rain and clouds. But it's crucial we make these captures stand out. My best two tips are these:

• Consider angles. Don't be afraid to shoot from above, below, or from any sharp angle. I was hugging this tree to get this shot which looked ridiculous. I've laid prostrate in my driveway to get a good shot of a sneaker. Looking silly is not a good reason to miss a great photograph.
• Think like a square. Make every part of the IG square interesting. The sky in the above picture is as important as the tree. I filled the square rather than have any wasted space. I also cropped out anything that took away like power lines.

This photo combined cake pops and the Olympics. It was GUARANTEED to be a success. My tip is to always ask yourself before posting:

• Will anyone but me care about this?
• Am I okay with anyone on the internet seeing this?
• Have I posted any other types of photos but this one in the last few days? 
• Would this picture be better discussed in therapy?
• Is this a picture of feet or blood? 

Your answers will determine if I follow you.

What are your tips and tricks and complaints about Instagram?

Let's be friends on Instagram. Follow me @jamiesrabbits.

Note: Don't forget to join my new secret club and enter to win Amazon gift cards. Ends tomorrow!

The Post About What I Would Do If I Could

{image: Getty images}

If I could...


1.  I would snip my hair into a bob with bangs like Reese Witherspoon and my head size and face shape would not impact how awesome I look. 

2. I would sing like Joy Williams and write songs like Sara Bareilles. 


3. I would wear false eyelashes everyday and get manicures every week.


4. I would only eat cheez-its, hummus and drink gallons of sweet tea and still lose weight.


5. I would travel in my time machine to the 8th grade and convince myself not to wear anything that tapers. 

6. I would say "yes" to a marriage proposal from Taylor Kitsch, Killian Jones or an owner of a Chick-Fil-A.


7. I would carry the Alexander McQueen Pebbled Padlock Shopper Tote in Red and skip to brunch.


8. I would say things like "You're fly, sugar pie!" to the cashier at every store.


9. I would add on a screened in porch to my house and be featured in Southern Living magazine.


10. I would click "Last Minute Deals" on travelocity and then go wherever they said.

What would you do if you could?

Note: Don't forget to join my new secret club and enter to win Amazon gift cards!

The Post About Waiting Time

{image: She Reads Truth}

I've written 18 posts this month, but today I need you to write a post.

You see, I'm in this season of waiting.

I'm waiting for a long weekend. I'm waiting for the price of bacon to drop. I'm waiting for cooler temps. I'm waiting for my hair to grow. I'm waiting for the extra pounds to drop. I'm waiting for the job. I'm waiting for love.

Waiting.

It's not been a wasted season...not in the least. But a purposeful season of waiting can still be frustrating and lonely and difficult.

How have you navigated seasons of waiting in your life? 

Note: The image is from the current reading plan on Nehemiah from She Reads Truth. Fantastic daily study.

The Post About Threats at a Wedding

Today, I directed a wedding. 

A beautiful bride. A gorgeous venue. And a mashed potato bar with TWELVE toppings. 

However, leading an event like this isn't all flower arranging and cueing the violinist.

At one point, I had to tell a groomsman: "If you smoke that joint in this processional, I will cut you. And by 'cut you,' I mean I will find a dull knife and stick it in your neck."

What's your best wedding story?

The Post About Trading One Drug for Another

Six months ago, I beat one of my greatest demons.

It was freedom, you guys. I was no longer chained to my phone. I built real relationships with real people in real life. It was truly a magical season in my life.

And then this happened.

The problem with reading the Internet is stumbling upon reviews of apps that are so convincing that you buy whatever someone likes.

Threes was described by Touch Arcade as the "perfect mobile game." And they're not wrong.

Primary objective of this game? Slide blocks to combine factors of three.

Then, spend the time you would be washing clothes or getting your mail or parenting your children playing this game.

In the number of hours it took to achieve the above, I could have learned to speak fluent Mandarin.

Unfortunately, this is not a post about how I've overcome this...

How do you waste the most time on any given day?

Note: Don't forget to join my new secret club and enter to win Amazon gift cards!

The Post About Muting People on Twitter

I'm celebrating 5 years on Twitter. That's one of the most committed relationships I've ever had with something that wasn't cheese. 

If you're not already tweeting, join us. It truly is my favorite thing on the Internet. Tied with cat videos.

And to get you started, I'll point you to my favorite go-to Beginner's Guide to Twitter by Michael Hyatt (@michaelhyatt).

For those of us already tweeting, the network rolled out a new feature this week: muting. Muting a user on Twitter means their tweets and retweets will no longer be visible in your home timeline.

The first question about muting is this:

@SarahMillerArt Fair question. For me, muting says "I really like you, but don't want to listen to you." Which is true for people IRL too.
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) May 14, 2014

I'm southern and I'm always concerned with wrapping things "in pretty." An unfollow is prettier if it's just an anonymous mute. The real-life equivalent is hiding behind shelves of toilet paper to dodge people you know in Wal-Mart.

What other reasons might you mute someone? Why might you end up being muted? I asked Twitter and it answered. Here's a sample of the responses that are good lessons for Facebook too. Let's pay close attention.

@JamiesRabbits Over-tweeting. Complaining. Negativity. Over-critical.
— Ashley Beaudin (@ashleybeaudin) May 14, 2014

Note: Posting more than 10-15 times each day is a lot (not counting replies). Step away from your computersmartphonetablet and pluck your eyebrows. Or parent your children.

@JamiesRabbits annoying retweets, too many NSFW tweets
— Melissa (@MelFin80) May 14, 2014

@JamiesRabbits Bad hair.
— Tracey Reid (@dietcokeluvr) May 14, 2014

@JamiesRabbits to keep myself from sinning. ie Judging mercilessly.
— Rachel Callahan (@ObjectivityRach) May 14, 2014

Note: I mute folks who post pictures of their feet for the same reason. 

@JamiesRabbits I mute for too many negative tweets, retweets or political opinions unless I don't know them personally then I unfollow.
— Liz Harrison (@liz_harris0n) May 14, 2014

@JamiesRabbits permanently: their posts annoy me but I can’t unfollow them bc i know them IRL. temporarily: spoilers or twitter “chats”
— Laura McClellan (@laura_mcclellan) May 14, 2014

@JamiesRabbits I mute if someone does nothing but solicit or repost. Especially when they take over my feed with it.
— Redhot Writing Hood (@red_writinghood) May 14, 2014

@JamiesRabbits People who only tweet crap designed to motivate me to be a better anything.
— Joseph Kinnaird (@JWKinnaird) May 14, 2014

Note: Joseph cannot be motivated. 

@JamiesRabbits millions of hashtags, especially political. consistent argumentative trash talk. consistent jesus juking.there may be more
— Lauree Ashcom (@LaureeAshcom) May 14, 2014

Note: Even Jesus wouldn't Jesus Juke himself.

@JWKinnaird @JamiesRabbits Posts volatile things + combative when opposing views come up. Rude, racist, sexist, ablilist, threatening. . .
— Ben Hamaker (@HamakerBen) May 14, 2014

@JamiesRabbits Endless selfies. (Stop the vanity! You look the same every time! We get it, you like how you look!)
— Dawn Reiss (@dawn_o_mite) May 14, 2014

Note: What if I change my hair part? Can I keep posting then?

@JamiesRabbits mompreneurs
— Jan Moyer (@moyermama) May 14, 2014

@JamiesRabbits Too many complaints, they RT compliments with 'thx' added, too many baby pics, too many grammatical/spelling errors...
— Jaklyn (@iamjakz) May 14, 2014

Note: Be better than retweeting compliments.

@JamiesRabbits I tend to mute people who tweet rapid fire using hashtags that appear unintelligible/insider club.
— Mandy Shunnarah (@fixedbaroque) May 14, 2014

Note: Tweet using the hashtag #citbh and you'll be in my new secret club.

@JamiesRabbits I mute “twitter parties” - so obnoxious - defeats the purpose for the advertiser
— Stephanie  (@plainchicken) May 14, 2014

Note: Twitter parties are not better than real parties. Because dips.

@JamiesRabbits sports rivalries. I mute certain people during football season.
— Molly Gentry (@mollsabeth) May 14, 2014

Note: Roll Tide.

Follow me on Twitter: @jamiesrabbits. I promise to only be worthy of muting 5% of the time.

Why do you mute or unfollow someone on social media?

The Post About Pricey Caps and Unflattering Gowns

Ahh... The smell of accomplishment. It's also the smell of paying your own bills and finding watermarked paper so your internships and workstudy jobs will seem more like...experience.

I love this time of year. It takes me back to my own college commencement. I was graduating from Emory University with a double major in Sociology and Women's Studies with a minor in African American Studies. (my conservative WASP-y Dad was super stoked.) 

Here are a couple of highlights of that weekend...

1. My commencement speaker was the Dalai Lama. Yes, that Dalai Lama. The best part was his holiness' speech lasted 9 minutes. Since the Georgia heat was bearing down on a couple thousand overdressed souls, he chose wisely.

2. Often, when you graduate you get a fake folder with no diploma inside (like the one you see to your left). But when you pay upwards of $35,000 a year in tuition, they're able to hire someone to coordinate it so you're handed your actual diploma. Unless you are Chris G., who was sitting next to me. He did the dance of going on stage, having his name called, hearing his family hoot and holler and then stopped for the memorial portrait. However, when he sat down, we simultaneously opened our folders. Mine had a shiny certificate that guaranteed me a difficult job search. His had a shiny letter that guaranteed him summer school since he had failed Chemistry.

What do you remember about graduating from college, high school, or kindergarten? 

Note: Kindergarten graduation is technically the dumbest event ever. Yeah, I said it.

{image: unknown, but overpriced photographer from Atlanta)

The Post About Instagram Commentary

Here are a few additional thoughts on some Instagram photos I recently posted. 

When spring hits, I become OBSESSED with being outside. And by "being" outside, I mean eating outside. There is no patio I won't frequent. I may actually be on your patio right now. The rest of outside can pretty much stick it. When I go to the park to eat my chicken nuggets at a picnic table and I see folks running, I think "Who hurt you runner person? Come eat a fudgsicle with me under this awning."

P.S. If you are ever in Birmingham, we will eat at Garage Cafe together. It will seal the deal on our friendship.

Another component of spring I fancy is the farmers' market. Although I wish there were farmers' markets that started at noon rather than closed at noon. I would spend all my allowance on berries. The unfortunate part is I don't cook. Not even a little, so I have to stick to things you can rinse off and eat immediately. Or jellies. Or jams. Or marmalades. Or preserves. By the way, what is the difference between those four? Is it a scam by farmers? Me thinks so.

These are my delightful friends, Haley and Jen. They're lounging in a movie theater in Atlanta where we went to see the Veronica Mars movie. I want to live in this AMC complex. Cupholders, free popcorn refills, and leather chairs that recline incrementally based on your emotional state. And your emotional state is all whimsy and twinkle stars because of these chairs.

I am my most irrational when I go to Target. On any given day, my list includes milk, eggs, and hairspray. I leave with milk, eggs, a picture frame, towels, post-it notes, nail polish, two workout DVDs and NOT HAIRSPRAY. 

These are my youngest nieces on a scenic hillside for our annual family Easter Egg hunt. In this moment of contemplation, they're plotting where on the "estate" they haven't looked since seven eggs are still missing. Although I was the one who hid the eggs, I am no assistance. I'm distracted by baby cows and the fact that I'm outside without a snack. Those eggs were found one week later when my Dad cut the grass. RIP Starburst jellybeans.

Chronologically, I'm Generation X, but my Y tendencies are strong. This is most noticeable when I'm driving. I can't seem to just be present in a car and be still when there's a down moment. When the light turns red or the traffic is stop and go like in the photo above, I immediately reach for my phone. BECAUSE GOD FORBID I NOT TAKE A PICTURE AND EDIT IT AND POST IT SO YOU KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING.

{images: Jamie}

The Post About My Failures At Feelings

When tragedy strikes, I may not be the person you want in your feelings bunker.

In the DISC personality profile, I'm a high "I." This means I:

• may be limited by being impulsive and disorganized and having lack of follow-through
• am described as convincing, magnetic, enthusiastic, and optimistic
• prioritize taking action, collaboration, and expressing enthusiasm

In the Enneagram profile I'm a high "7." My key motivations are:

• to maintain my freedom and happiness
• to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences
• to keep myself excited and occupied
• to avoid and discharge pain

So when moments of sadness weigh heavy, my instinct is to treat it like a virus that must be contained.

I will nurse your sorrow with any number of medicines: laughter, optimism, carbs. Letting someone just sit with the heartache is difficult. I want to fix. I want to reframe. I want to be happy.

However, sometimes we need to wade in our grief. We need to let those we love leave the shore of bright sides and glasses half full and allow them to feel all the feelings.

Our job becomes being present and being willing. Willing to laugh, willing to be optimistic, and willing to eat cake - whatever's needed in being present.

There are so many examples in the book of Psalms of the writer starting out with raised fists and ending with open hands.

Chapter 13 is my favorite:

1 How long will you forget me, Lord? Forever? How long will you look the other way when I am in need? 2 How long must I be hiding daily anguish in my heart? How long shall my enemy have the upper hand? 3 Answer me, O Lord my God; give me light in my darkness lest I die. 4 Don’t let my enemies say, “We have conquered him!” Don’t let them gloat that I am down. 5 But I will always trust in you and in your mercy and shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord because he has blessed me so richly.

I want to be the kind of friend who can sit beside someone as they point fingers in verses 1 through 4 and just let them point.

Then we can find our way to verses 5 and 6. Slowly, but surely.

How do you help folks through difficulty? 

{image: Jamie (depressing, huh?)}

The Post About Five Ways To Stay Young

I have three life goals:

1. The entire world to be at peace.

2. Every foster child to live in a healthy, happy home.

3. Look younger than my chronological age.

Rabbit Confession: My checkbook and calendar would tell you I'm spending my resources on one more than the others.  Spoiler: It does not involve intense talks in Crimea.

My bio on this blog says I'm thirty-something. The very act of using the term "thirty-something" means I'm not 100% comfortable with my age. I'm constantly self reflecting about getting older. Am I aging gracefully or am I kicking Father Time in the shins while plotting my escape?

It’s the shins.

But there's hope. Last week, a woman looking for me at an event I used to attend asked "Where's the little girl who talks so fast and bounces around?" 

Here are five ways I keep folks thinking I'm "little:"

1. Fitness: Please don’t get crazy. I’m not actually fit. But I do like to push my knees to the brink with rafting, skiing, and 4-square. Plus, it never hurts to schedule in daily dance breaks.

2. Drugstore Choices: Hair colors, face serums, and sparkly spackle are the best way to place the ravages of time in time out.

3. Pop Culture: I’m not afraid to love that which may not be age-appropriate. Phineas and Ferb, One Direction, and one ZacharyDavidAlexanderEfron.

4. Muffin Top: Carrying extra pounds leads to a higher risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, stroke, and some cancers. However, those Cheez-its are a great over-the-counter collagen to fill out pesky hand wrinkles and brow lines. You may die 10 years earlier, but your coffin-side 16 x 20 portrait won’t need airbrushing.

5. Menu: A gourmet bowl of Froot Loops with a side of apple slices makes for a delightful meal. It’s all the better when served with a full-bodied grape Kool-Aid

What are your tips for keeping yourself young? 

The Post About More Than Raising Awareness

Last month, people across the Internet drew a red X on their hands to shine a light on the continued existence of slavery across the globe. A good thing.

As someone who's worked in nonprofits for a long time, I know the value of those events considered "friendraisers." We always need folks in the know about the causes we care about. 

However, the next steps are the meat of the matter to agents of change. Finding ways to prompt people to care in word AND deed. Nicole wrote about those who never make it past the red X in this thought provoking post about slacktivism. 

Sex trafficking — the forced prostitution of women and girls — is a billion-dollar industry. It's not just in brothels in Taiwanese back alleys (my initial vision of it.) It's happening in America. It's happening in Birmingham.

That brings me to my friend and blogger, Rachel Callahan, who's decided to go beyond the red X.

Rachel is putting hands and feet to her support of this cause by launching Picture Birmingham, a site to sell her images of the Magic City and other great places with all proceeds going to support The WellHouse. The WellHouse is a faith-based organization offering immediate shelter and transitional housing to women who have been trafficked, are prostituting, or otherwise sexually exploited.

And the photographs are stupid good.

My first order from the site was this set of notecards. Gorgeous.

I wanted to do more than just spend all my stay-at-home-Jamie money so I contributed one photo of my own of this snazzy city. 

This was a particularly dark time in my life because I ran my first 5K at Sloss Furnaces. I won't be doing that again.

You can snag a print or canvas of my photo and dozens more at Picture Birmingham and go beyond the red X. Also consider liking PB on Facebook or following Rachel on Twitter.

RABBIT BONUS: If you use the code "rabbits" at Picture Birmingham, then you get 11% off any purchase through March 31. 

Disclaimer: I don't get any kickback for this post, except Rachel's kids might like me more than they do now. 

{images: Picture Birmingham and Jamie}

The Post About Wishing for Jamie Golden's Life

2008 was a year of good decisions. I traveled to Mexico for the first time. I grew out my bangs. I reserved the user name "jamiegolden" on a beta email service called G-Mail.

I didn't anticipate it becoming my go-to email address since I was happy with the stable and secure "jgold15@netzero.net."

But alas, Netzero went the way of scrunchies and Clearly Canadian.

There I was, an early adopter of something valuable that would last. I took much pride in being "jamiegolden@gmail.com" and thought the other Jamies could stick it.

I won.

Until I received an email intended for one of those Jamies. Specifically, jamie.golden@gmail.com.

For the past two years, I've been receiving the occasional email for Jamie. Here's what I know about her:

• Last year, she traded in her BMW for a new Audi. 
• She spends large portions of her income at J. Crew, Madewell, and Zara.
• Invitations to parties on rooftops on Lexington Avenue and weekends in the Hamptons are standard.
• Her hair is specially designed by a "creative director" who charges $100 for a cut and style.
• She's missioned to Germany and volunteers for a community justice organization.

But the best correspondence I've mistakenly received was a blind date inquiry. A gentleman reached out to Jamie upon suggestion from a mutual friend.

Do you want to guess?

Yep, you guessed correctly. He was a doctor who loved helping those in need and wanted to travel the world. Plus, his entire five paragraph email was grammatically correct.

I replied to that email just like Katherine Heigl would in a romantic comedy. I just knew it would lead to a meet-cute I would regale at parties and tell our baby as she fell asleep to night lights on the ceiling and essential oils on her feet.

But alas, he went the way of spam and junk mail. No reply.

Does East Coast Jamie get emails intended for me? Does she make bulleted lists of all the ways she envies my LinkedIn connections or Kia oil changes or invitations to pay my overdue book fines?

Probably not. But I do know tomorrow it's sunny and 59° here and she should hunker down for
20° and an ice storm.

I win.

What would your email reveal about your life?