Me: "I'm hormonal."
Hormones are crafty lil' buggers. They can make you eat, buy, scream and cry in ways you didn't think possible. With just a tad extra estrogen in your system, you'll find yourself thinking of ways to maim the person in front of you who has 46 items in the CLEARLY MARKED less-than-20 line and text your brother to tell him how much you miss him (all in the same 9 seconds...).
My matchmaker endocrine system has led to me to fall in love three times in the past 7 days. Three. Let me introduce you to my significant others:
1. Raymond: He works at Dell. He loves Italian food and spontaneous road trips. Truthfully, all I know is Raymond made a Nikon D40 camera appear at my house for $40 less than advertised. I'm pretty sure he lives in Bangladesh - my new summer getaway.
2. Dylan: He and I attended the same wake on Tuesday. I actually don't know his name because I didn't even speak to him. I just picked "Dylan" because it sounds mysterious and gainfully employed. He was attractive and needed to be comforted.
3. Vince: He works at GoDaddy.com (the holder of www.jamiesrabbits.com). The call took 10 minutes and he spoke fluent English. He also spoke jcrewkindafunnyandcute English. Our children will think he owns the place.
My friend Kara thinks I need to meet real people. I think she may be right.