My driver's license expired. November, 2010.
First, I procrastinated.
Then, I noticed my listed weight. Then, I asked myself "Wouldn't it be cool if you were that weight instead of this one?"
So I began to lose weight. Slowly.
The "slowly" was a result of Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred continuing to be only a 2-day shred. And the first of those days was always the one where I simply watched the video while eating Cheez-its.
Rabbit Sidebar: Am I the only one who wants to follow the "advanced" exerciser in the workout video, but can barely keep up with the remedial exerciser ostracized to the back? Am I the only one who therefore spends the majority of the workout marching in place because I can't manage the grapevine while holding 2 cans of spaghetti sauce?
After the 60-day grace period for expired licenses passed and I was no longer supported by the Department of Transportation to operate a motor vehicle, I considered getting it renewed.
Then, I asked myself "Wouldn't it be cool if your hair was long?"
So I began to grow out my hair. Slowly.
The "slowly" was a result of the lack of nutrients in the 10 foods I eat the most.
After reaching the expired DL weight AND growing my hair out, I considered getting it renewed.
Then, the county in which I live realized it had been spending more money than it earned and closed all courthouse satellite offices.
Back to procrastinating.
Yesterday, I finally caved. I wanted to be a law-abiding citizen. I also wanted to get on a plane to Hawaii in 25 days.
This was my exchange with the courthouse clerk:
Me: It's expired because I wanted to reach that weight. It took longer than I thought.
Her: What's your new goal weight?
Me: Are you saying I'm still fat?
Her: (eyes huge) Umm...no, what? I didn't mean...I'm sor-
Me: Just kidding. My new goal weight is 140.
--She takes the pic, I verify my information, we laugh about long I had to wait in line, etc.--
Me: (after reviewing my new card) Did you mean to put 140 as my weight?
Her: Yep. Don't worry, you have 4 years to get there.
Confession time: Is your driver's license accurate? Have you ever lied about something like that? And most importantly, do you follow the remedial exerciser?