The Post About What You Should Never Call A Minister

I've already written about my church's weirdo staff. I know...pot, kettle, blackness...

Last month, Pastor Mark Driscoll posted this Facebook status: “So what story do you have about the most effeminate anatomically male worship leader you’ve ever personally witnessed?"

Needless to say it stirred up a bit of controversy on these here internets. 

I brought up the quote in a meeting with my pastor, Steve, and worship leader, Shawn. I wanted to pick their brains on whether I should key Mark's car or even care about it at all. It was a great dialogue and I gained a boatload of clarity. 

This is when I should have wrapped it up and proceeded directly to my Sunday nap. 

However, I made one last closing comment: "You both make sense....Plus, you're both sort of effeminate and you're great at your jobs."

You know what is NEVER a compliment to a man? 

It doesn't matter if he's rockin' undereye concealer, plucked eyebrows and recounting the difficulty he had embroidering a pink polo he's planning to wear to his show choir recital where he'll be singing 1st soprano.

As soon as I saw the looks on their faces, I started back-peddling. Hard.

"I didn't mean you are EFFEMINATE. I meant...uh...you're not afraid to...umm...you know...I mean you're really more geeks than girls."

A moment of silence for my inability to know when to shut it.

Two weeks later...

I texted Shawn after seeing fire trucks gathered outside our church where he was working. The transcript is below. At some point, he thinks he's conversing with his wife, Kristi. And still thinks that even after my first response. She has given me permission to share it with you.

Rabbit Sidebar: If Kristi had a Twitter account, we'd all follow it. She's that funny.