The {Guest} Post About Birmingham v. Portland

Today's guest blogger hails from Oregon. More on that pesky fact in a second. 

Ben Emerson, from The Whole Dang Thing, is one of my favorite writers, both for the words and for the subject of the words. Ben is blogging his way through the Bible, one chapter at a time. 

Don't be scared. Ben manages to tackle a monstrous task and make it insightful and more often than not - quite comical. I read his blog every day...even when I forget to read the actual Bible. Ben probably does not endorse this practice.

Today, Ben throws down a gauntlet. It's time for you and me to represent.
Here is the deal folks: Jamie hails from Birmingham, Alabama. Yours truly resides in (an hour and a half south of) Portland, Oregon.

Now, I am sure all Birminghammers consider their fair city to be the crown-jewel of the South. Fair enough. Portlandians think the same of Portland, except for the Northwest.

But the time has come to settle the score. Which city is actually better? I recently ran a few simulations and scenarios to figure out which one was better.* I chose a few important categories for the cities to go head to head in. The winner of the most categories claims the title of “Greatest City in like, Ever!”


Birmingham: Having never been to Alabama I can only assume it is a humid sweet tea-infested wasteland. The wiki page speaks of “mountains” and “diverse river ecosystems” but it is probably lying.

Portland: Mt. Hood. The Willamette and Columbia rivers. Evergreen Trees. Maybe a week of humidity per year. Yeah, there is a lot of rain, but 17 inches less than Birmingham!

Advantage: Portland



Advantage: Do I even need to say it? Portland by a mile.

Culture Sports:

Birmingham: I hear there is a small, liberal arts college in town that has an ok football team that I am pretty sure didn't win the national championship against a school in Oregon that happens to be my alma mater.

Portland: NBA (Trailblazers), MLS (Timbers), and a sort of Hockey team. Let's face it, we aren't going to have a championship for a while.

Advantage: I am very disappointed, but Birmingham. GO DUCKS!!!!


Birmingham: It was pretty much the flashpoint for much of the civil rights movement. Dr. King was put in jail there and wrote his famous letters, a church was bombed, and there was a bunch or marches and sit-ins.

Portland: I don't know. There were a bunch of tall trees. People cut them down and lived in the stumps and drank coffee. Also it is the birthplace of hipsters. Come on! How do you compete with the civil rights movement?!

Advantage: Birmingham

are you ready for the tiebreaker?

Do I Live there?

Birmingham: Nope

Portland: Technically I don't but I am pretty darn close.

Advantage: Portland!

And the winner, by a margin of 3-2 is . . . PORTLAND!!!!

There you have it folks. Undeniable proof that Portland is the superior city. If you ever want to come visit, let me know. I will hook you up sucka!!!

What is your favorite city in the USA? Which one are you just dying to visit?

*by "ran a few simulations" I mean, "skimmed the wikipedia page."
Ben Emerson lives in (near) beautiful Portland, Oregon. He works with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at Oregon State University. You can follow along with his blog, The Whole Dang Thing, as he works his way through the whole Bible. You can also follow him on twitter or like his blog on facebook. Do it NOW!!!

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