The {Guest} Post About Knowing If You've Met The Love of Your Life

Today's guest rabbit chaser is Katherine from Grass Stains. I met Katherine on this vast Internet wasteland that we both adore. We quickly bonded over pop culture, the 80's, and sharing more of yourself  than necessary with complete strangers. We've since met for lunches, swapped phone numbers and become real-life friends. She is easily one of my top ten favorite Internet peeps. 

This post perfectly demonstrates why.

How to know if you’ve met the love of your life

1.   Sit next to him while he eats an apple. RIGHT next to him.*
If at any time you wanted to tear the apple right out of his hand and throw it across the room, he’s not the man for you.

If he made it to the end and you still wanted to kiss him on the cheek, he might be marriage material.

2. Take a 12-hour car ride with him during which he’s the only one who drives.
If you vomited from motion sickness, used your imaginary brake pedal more than twice, or made him pull over at the one-hour mark because YOU JUST COULDN’T TAKE ANOTHER MINUTE OF THE TORTURE, throw him back.

If the conversation was interesting, he let you nap for an hour and allowed you to control the radio, he’s a keeper.

3. Sit next to his mother at a long brunch.
If she constantly interrupted you, talked only about herself, picked at her food and is only a size 4, he’s not the guy for you.

If you enjoyed her company, she asked you if you liked The Bachelorette last night and encouraged you to get seconds of the pecan pie, he could be THE ONE.

4.  Ask him to patch a hole in your wall, change the oil in your car, and kill a bug.
If he tried to use a fly swatter to do all three, he’s completely useless.

If he successfully completed the tasks without having to Google anything or go to the library, you’re golden.

5.  Check his browser history.
If he’s frequenting Cabela’s, Bass Pro and Orvis, give it up. You’re gonna end up a weekend widow. He already likes deer and ducks more than he likes you.

If he’s visited Entertainment Weekly and Home Depot...it’s a no-brainer. Bonus points for Pottery Barn or Restoration Hardware. And if he has them BOOKMARKED? He’s meet-the-parents material.

6.  Ask him to list his five favorite TV shows of all time.
If Baywatch is on the list, run far and run fast. Boobies jiggling all the way.

If Lost is on the list, he might be your Constant.

7.  Purposefully enter the bathroom within 60 seconds after he pooped.
If you gagged immediately, give serious consideration to the fact that you will be smelling that daily for the rest of your life. Uh huh. That’s what I thought.

If he lit a match? GO SHOPPING FOR RINGS TOMORROW.

What would be a “dealbreaker” for you?

*If you’re a REAL masochist, replace “apple” with “bowl of soup.”

Katherine has been writing about her family and chasing her own version of Rabbits at Grass Stains for four snarky years. She’s been married to her soul mate for 17 years, and they have four stunningly beautiful children. Although she takes serious issue with the way her husband eats an apple, they share a great love of Lost and So You Think You Can Dance, and as they say, that has made all the difference. 

Follow Katherine on Twitter and on Pinterest.