The Post About What You Shouldn't Do at a Movie Theater

This weekend, Kara and I went to see Snow White and The Thorsman. We snagged our kids' popcorn packs and scanned the theater for 2 empty seats at the very top.

As we settled in, we tweeted and texted some final afternoon thoughts and waited for the trailers to begin.

A man approached and asked if the two seats next to us were empty. We smiled and offered our row's best hospitality.

What happened next includes 4 things you shouldn't do in a movie theater:

1. Yelling: I wondered why he wanted 2 seats since there was no one with him. He proceeded to yell for his wife who was seated 15 rows in front of us. They invited us all into their romance as they loudly debated about whether she was going to join him. She finally conceded.

Note: Yelling is appropriate if you are addressing the screen on the opening night of a horror film. Or Peeta does not look like he did in your head.

2. Sharing personal issues with strangers: Once the wife arrived, she stepped over us while proclaiming "I hope you're okay with me getting up 3 or 4 times during this because of my kidneys."

3. Working on a hobby: Once Mrs. Stranger took a load off, she started to grab items out of her handbag. Since the theater had darkened and the previews had begun, I assumed it was some smuggled snacks. And yes, there was a honeybun and individual box of Fruit Loops in her stash. But the largest item was the dish towel she was EMBROIDERING. Yes, she was stitching.

4. Managing hygiene: After the trailer for Ice Age 9, Mrs. Stranger pulled out the final item on her film arsenal. Dental floss. GUYS. SHE FLOSSED HER TEETH. Not once, but twice during my medieval Thor fairy tale.

I turned to Kara and whispered "You have to switch seats with me before she gets plaque on me!"

She responded "You have a blog. This is why these things happen."

What else should be off limits in a movie theater?

{image: Jamie}