1.22.2014

The Post About Welcoming Teens to Twitter

A recent report found teens are abandoning Facebook in the millions. And in what I'm sure is a COMPLETELY UNRELATED move, users age 55+ have exploded with 80% growth.

So where are they going? Many outlets seem to think they're headed to Twitter.

As someone who's been tweeting since 2008, I feel it's my public duty to not only welcome Madison and Jacob, but also orient them to proper Twitter etiquette.
 
1.Tweet. Just that...say stuff. But before you post, ask yourself: Is this tweet useful or funny or insightful or interesting? Your morning eye gook does not meet any of those criteria.

2. Follow. Try and find those you already know and then consider new friends. Search for topics you're interested in like video games or photography or One Direction.

3. Follow back. If someone interacts with you by replying to your tweet or retweeting you, consider following them back. I may be projecting to those who aren't following me back. I LOVE YOU A WHOLE BUNCH MINDY KALING.

4. Share Good Stuff. Retweeting someone is the best gift ever. Unless you don't credit them, then you're what the French call "chez crookedy crook."

5. Call it. Keep the public back and forth to a minimum. Your followers don't care about you ironing out the details of your upcoming trip to the coffee shop with your ex-boyfriend's brother's sister.

6. Tweeting without ceasing. Posting more than 15x a day is a lot. Step away from your computersmartphonetablet and hug a human. Or do your homework.

7. Tweet your exits. If you decide to share your location, wait until you're leaving to tweet. Then you don't have to have IRL encounters you may not actually want to have.

8. Obnoxious tweeting. If it would be hurtful to say it in person, then it's hurtful here. Exception? Nope...there isn't one.

9 Hesitate to Hashtag. Too many hashtags are #annoying #as #all #getout. However, don't miss out on connecting to others who care about #1letterwrongmovie. This is why you tweeted "Snapes on a Plane."

10. Going over. Honor the 140 character limit. You can do it. It's why God made contractions and ampersands. However, when tweeting quotes by Martin Luther King, Jr. or C.S. Lewis, don't replace the word "you" with "u." Don't.

What are your Twitter tips for newbies?

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