My youngest niece has had me wrapped around her finger since day one. We celebrate the anniversary of that day this week as she becomes the ever-important age of eleven.
She is kind, wickedly funny, and loves all things zombie.
The greatest proof of my affection for her is what I subject myself to in her honor. Namely, ball parks.
These wonderlands of dirt and bad lighting turn gentle folk into raging maniacs.
The Little League of America has a Parents' Handbook for Honoring the Game. As we all know, these documents don't write themselves without a need becoming apparent. It includes the following verbatim instructions for during a game:
- Don't yell instructions during the game. Let coaches coach.
- Cheer good plays by both teams.
- If an umpire makes a "bad" call against your team, Honor the Game -- be silent!
- If other parents yell at the umpires, gently remind them to Honor the Game.
- Don't do anything in the heat of the moment that you will regret after the game. Ask yourself, "Will this embarrass my child or the team?"
- Remember to have fun! Enjoy the game.
Has anyone ever been to a Little League game where these guidelines were followed?
I have not.
This includes my experiences sitting next to my Southern Baptist Church secretary mother who has probably had at least three minor coronary incidents while watching her grandchildren play outfield.
Nonetheless, I love that girl.
Bonus Rabbit: My niece's team finished in first place for the season, so I made cake pops to celebrate. The first comment by a player whose name ends in two "e's" was "Why are they baseballs?" Softballs are yellow. DID YOU KNOW THAT?