The Post About How To Make Friends as an Adult

Leslie is having a baby next month. She's ridiculously cute.

It's annoying.

Let's be honest. We want those who are never fat who are getting fat to look fat. I can say that about Leslie, because we're friends.

Leslie and I didn't grow up together or meet at college where many great friendships find their origin. We met at church. We saw each other occasionally in the halls or near the doughnuts, and we liked each other immediately. But we were in our thirties. Could we become friends?

Jerry Seinfeld suggests no.



He's not wrong. Making friends as an adult is challenging. My friend Kara, who I've been best friends with since 1993, knows all my secrets. ALL OF THEM. She also knows the easy stuff like I love guacamole and guys with nice forearms and sitting at restaurant tables far from toddlers.
We have a shorthand that's delightful.

But even still, Kara and I don't connect on everything. She thinks Twitter is weird. Shopping is boring to her. Her career doesn't define her. She does not find The Bachelor riveting.

That's where Leslie comes in... Leslie boldly came up to me one Sunday and said "I'm going to need us to go to breakfast and become friends."

We did both.

Here are my tips for doing the same:

1. Find strangers. Take a class, join a club, volunteer, or join a gym. Also, look at the activities you're already doing and see who's around. Do you like any of those people? Maybe you spend all your time on social media - who's there that you like? My real-life friend Erin was a stranger I met on Twitter. We both loved books, music, Doctor Who and snark. One day, she suggested we meet for coffee. She brought me a cupcake and we've been friends ever since.

2. Find non-strangers. Who are your friends' other friends? Do any of them love the things you love? What about your friends' significant others? What about the people you went to school with who have grown up to be interesting adults. Facebook is a great screening tool. Look at the folks you haven't unfollowed and consider seeing them in person.

3. Speak up. When you're around someone you think might become a friend - talk to them. Ask questions, learn their story and share yours. It doesn't have to be a 3 hour meal, but snippets of conversation can lead to learning all about a person. Be vulnerable, not dramatic. Be transparent, not codependent.

4. Don't give up. I'm not suggesting stalking your prospects, but people can be shy or distracted or in a busy season. Don't be afraid to keep putting forth effort to get to know someone.

5. Don't look for a BFF. Sometimes we think we need the types of friends who will be in our wedding or be the godparent to our kids. Lower the bar. Look for a book friend or sports friend or parenting friend or neighbor friend or a Real Housewives of Atlanta friend or one of each. Simply fill in your gaps.

Quality friendships are ridiculously valuable and they require real effort. Until they don't. The effortless friendship is worth any awkward pursuit.

How do you make friends as an adult? 

The Post About Beth Moore Thinking My Mom was a Drug Dealer

My last post was inspired by an article on Christianity Today "What Happens When We See Women Teach the Bible."

This piece made complete sense because of two women: Jan Golden and Beth Moore.

The former, my mother, has been an adult Sunday School teacher for as long as I can remember. Her Bible riddled with notes and lines highlighting scripture that resonates.

The latter has been a staple on my bookshelf since the 90s. The first book she published was the first I read: To Live is Christ. My long-suffering relationship with the apostle Paul (I'm Peter in every bumbling, brash way) was resolved with this detailed study.

These two women of God recently collided.

On Twitter, I follow both Beth Moore and her daughter, Amanda Jones. Therefore, I see their tweets to each other in my timeline.

This is a simple and sweet exchange. I replied.

This is a picture of my Mom's cell phone. She has to add minutes to it at a kiosk. It's untraceable by the FBI.

Beth, kindly replied.

YOU GUYS. She thought my mom was an actual drug dealer. It was the most magical moment I've ever had on Twitter. Including that time I had to win over Natalie Grant.

For the record, it's a Baptist church, so no good wine - just grapefruit juice.

My next move was to call my mother and read this exchange verbatim to her.

I did. It still includes a welcome window reading "Merry Christmas from Me" when she turns it on.

FOR EIGHT YEARS.

I'm so glad Jan and Beth met.

The Post About Picking Up Strange Habits

My parents are delightful.



They've taught me many things. My dad taught me how to mow the grass, although I refuse to do it. My mom taught me to sew, although I refuse to do it. They also taught me to be adorably codependent on those who can cut grass and sew.

Hopefully, they've also planted seeds of compassion and kindness and approaching the world with as much humor as I can stand.

Their real legacy though, is a few of the small quirky things they taught me that linger even now.

All medicines belong in the kitchen. I'm guessing this was because the worst headaches came at the prospect of cooking dinner for the one thousandth night in a row.

Sunday nights are for popcorn. We would always come home from church and cook popcorn on the stove and watch one of four channels on TV. Magic.

Wedding napkins are a collector's item. Those cocktail napkins embossed with a couple's names and the date are surely worth stacking up in a cabinet. Even if there are hundreds.

Candy should be eaten in an orderly fashion. Specifically by color and number. My mother assures me this isn't a medical diagnosis, just the right way to do things.

Do you have any unique habits you picked up from your family?

{images: Jamie}

The Post About Mother's Day For Everyone

This is my mom. Adorable, right?

She hasn't changed a bit.

I thought I'd write this thoughtful and mom-high-fiving post about Mother's Day, but I've always felt a little uncomfortable with the holiday. It seems as if we often compete on social media for who has the best mom while those struggling with the day are forced into grieving silence.

Do I think my mom is better than yours? Absolutely. Is it okay for me to post an Instagram picture to prove it? Sure.

Note: These towels hanging from my mother's oven represent her two basic approaches to life.


However, I think it would be a mistake to ignore how painful this day may be for some. One of my favorite pieces on this topic was penned by Amy Young at The Messy Middle.

It's called The Wide Spectrum of Mothering:

To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food
stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we
mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and
disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t
mean to make this harder than it is
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit
with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your
experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of
motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who have aborted children - we remember them and you on this day
To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children - we mourn
that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be
To those who step-parent - we walk with you on these complex paths
To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren, yet that dream is not to be - we
grieve with you
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
To those who placed children up for adoption – we commend you for your selflessness and
remember how you hold that child in your heart
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate
with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. 
Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.

I'm thankful for all the warriors. Especially my own.

The Post About Being a Little League Aunt

This girl.

My youngest niece has had me wrapped around her finger since day one. We celebrate the anniversary of that day this week as she becomes the ever-important age of eleven.

She is kind, wickedly funny, and loves all things zombie.

The greatest proof of my affection for her is what I subject myself to in her honor. Namely, ball parks.

These wonderlands of dirt and bad lighting turn gentle folk into raging maniacs.

The Little League of America has a Parents' Handbook for Honoring the Game. As we all know, these documents don't write themselves without a need becoming apparent. It includes the following verbatim instructions for during a game:

• Don't yell instructions during the game. Let coaches coach.
• Cheer good plays by both teams.
• If an umpire makes a "bad" call against your team, Honor the Game -- be silent!
• If other parents yell at the umpires, gently remind them to Honor the Game.
• Don't do anything in the heat of the moment that you will regret after the game. Ask yourself, "Will this embarrass my child or the team?"
• Remember to have fun! Enjoy the game.

Has anyone ever been to a Little League game where these guidelines were followed?

I have not.

This includes my experiences sitting next to my Southern Baptist Church secretary mother who has probably had at least three minor coronary incidents while watching her grandchildren play outfield.

Nonetheless, I love that girl.

Bonus Rabbit: My niece's team finished in first place for the season, so I made cake pops to celebrate. The first comment by a player whose name ends in two "e's" was "Why are they baseballs?" Softballs are yellow. DID YOU KNOW THAT? 

{images: Jamie}

The Post About Teens and Tiaras

Oldest niece. Pageant niece. Both adorable.

My middle niece participated in a beauty pageant this weekend. I'm always torn. Do you adore your gorgeous family member and simply ignore the discomfort you feel as each young woman parades by?

No.

You shower your beautiful niece with praise AND revel in the awkwardness of the competition by live tweeting it. The following includes actual quotes from the interview portion of the pageant.

At my niece's beauty pageant. Her listed hobbies are eating, Netflix & Tumblr. So...she's already a winner.
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) January 26, 2014

Is it wrong to hope I've been a positive influence?

Contestant: My favorite book is "Divergent" because I'm adventurous and it was full of adventure. #beautypageant
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) January 26, 2014

This is not completely illogical.

Contestant: "If I could go anywhere in the world, I'd pick Cinderella's castle in FL." Well done Disney. You beat the planet. #beautypageant
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) January 26, 2014

Geography is obviously no longer a priority in today's schools.

Contestant: My favorite book is Hunger Games because I saw the movie and it was really awesome so I read the book. #beautypageant
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) January 26, 2014

Suzanne Collins should have to pay the movie producers a royalty.

Contestant: If I could go anywhere in the world, I'd go to Maui because of the vastly different culture. #notonthemainland #beautypageant
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) January 26, 2014

I've been to Hawaii. No.

Contestant: My favorite book is "Safe Haven" because it teaches it's important to get to know someone before you marry them. #beautypageant
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) January 26, 2014

Nicholas Sparks is making it rain with life lessons.

Contestant: If I could go anywhere in the world, I'd go to Ireland so I could have the Irish experience. #beautypageant
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) January 26, 2014

Can we all agree that the "Irish Experience" is probably heavy drinking and throwing punches?

Contestant: My favorite novel is Vampire Kisses because a girl falls in love with a guy who lives in a mansion. #beautypageant
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) January 26, 2014

The most honest answer of the night.

Contestant: If I could go anywhere in the world I wouldn't. I'd stay in Corner, Alabama. #beautypageant
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) January 26, 2014

I grew up in Corner. It's not a shabby place, but it's no Cinderella's Castle.

Contestant: My favorite book is "Night" because it's about the Holocaust and that's interesting. #beautypageant
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) January 26, 2014

My friend Erin Moon commented "Night is good, but is it anyone's FAVORITE book?"

Contestant: My favorite book is The Great Gatsby because it shows you the past in an interesting way. #beautypageant
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) January 26, 2014

If TGG was historically accurate, then Gatsby would have been taken out in the 3rd chapter for overuse of the phrase "Old Sport."

My Mom: That young woman seems like the she's high. What do you think she's on? How expensive do you think it is? #beautypageant
— Jamie Golden (@JamiesRabbits) January 26, 2014

My mom is a secretary at a southern baptist church. Context.

Where would you go if you could go anywhere in the world?

The Post About Tweens and Tiaras

My youngest niece was in a beauty pageant this past week. She enjoys getting her hair done and garnering lots of attention. It's why we get along so well.

These types of events are really fantastic because even the stuff that's bad is delicious. Here were my observations.

1. My niece listed her favorite food as bacon and she wants to grow up to be a meteorologist. Like her father. THAT'S FIGGIN' ADORABLE.

2. The 10-year-old whose favorite hobby was babysitting. Time to call child protective services.

3. Kenny G is the king pageant muzak. Unfortunately he’s also the king of gynecology office muzak. Now you know where my head was.

4. The 11-year-old whose favorite food was turnip greens and wants to grow up to be a chiropractor. Are either of those actual things?

5. Five contestants listed their favorite hobby as texting. Is that as sad as it sounds?

6. Three girls stated they wanted to grow up to be artists. This pageant disclosure is their way of telling mom & dad they’ll need to move back home someday.

7.  The contestant whose middle name is "Tequila." I assume it’s what helped mom get through labor.

8. More than one contestant listed "Marine Biologist" as their anticipated career. What’s our middle school obsession with this ambition? Is it Nemo? Aquariums? Captain D’s?

9. When your favorite subject is science, you’re not allowed to choose cruise ship singer as your future career.

10. My niece was gorgeous, both inside & out. Unlike her aunt & grandma who probably shouldn’t be allowed to attend kid competitions.

{images: Jamie}

The Post About Conversations With Me

Here are 5 conversations I've had recently. Judge appropriately.

  

Setup: I posted this pic for the April Photo A Day project with this caption. "Day #4: Someone who makes you happy. My Dad. And not just because he fixes things and slips me cash. Although that doesn't make me hate him.
Amanda Williams: He looks like a movie star. So distinguished yet approachable. I approve. #ofyourDad #huh?
Me: THAT'S MY DAD AMANDA.

Setup: My 8-year-old niece and I were discussing the perils of being the youngest child and how there are never as many pictures of you. Note: Her mom is adopted and I work at an agency with adoptive families so she fully understands the fabulousness of adoption. 
Katelynne: How many baby pictures do you have?
Me: Not many. I'm not even certain they (pointing to my Mom and Dad) are my birth parents.
Katelynne: OOOHHH... Maybe your birth mom has cool red hair like you!!!
Me: Only if her name is John Frieda. 

Setup: My coworker stopped by my office and simply stood at the door and stared at me while I was typing on my computer.
Me: (turning head slowly...) Hey.
Brock: (whispers) Are you on the phone?
Me: No. Why?
Brock: Who are you talking to?
Me: Uhh...the person I'm writing this email to.
Brock: Really? Out loud? 
Me: How else do you talk to people but out loud? Weirdo. 

Setup: I have seen my hairdresser 5 times in the last year. She likes to talk about my child welfare job. We'll call her Sally.
Sally: How's your job?
Me: It's good - just tough to work with such sadness in the world.
Sally: The world is going to pot. With all the alcohol and drugs and interracial marriage.
Me: {Blink. Blink.}
If you know of any non-racist hairdressers in Birmingham, shoot me an email.

Setup: My colleague and friend Connie wants me to marry someone she knows. Possibly anyone.
Connie: Is 46 outside of your age range?
Me: Hmm... That's 10 years. It depends if he's really young at heart. I tell people I'm 24 inside.
Connie: I'll do more investigating.
Me: P.S. I'm not 100% sold on someone with kids. Unless it's Matt Damon. And Luciana Damon is dead.

Comments. Concerns.

{image: Jamie}

The Post About Thank You and You're Welcome

Last week I invited you to a one-day Quasi-Wedding/Baby Shower to raise money for Children's Aid Society in Alabama. CAS advocates for children in great ways.

You RSVP'd in the loveliest way.

Thank you to following who gave of their wallets and/or valuable social media real estate to spread the word. 

1. Katy McCay: The McKay Family Adventures
2. Sarah McDonnell: Twitters
3. Knox McCoy: Knox McCoy
4. Robin Hill: Alabama Slacker Mama
5. Erin Moon: Twitters
6. Lindsay Goodall: Lindsay Goodall
7. Haley Bragg: Haley Bragg Designs
8. Micha McCallum: Cookin Mimi
9. Jenn Fox: Twitters
10. Katherine Hilton: Grass Stains
11. Molly Graham: Twitters
12. Melanie Erickson: A Day In The Life of Melly
13. Ruth Tinsley: Bogue and Weejer
14. Jaklyn Larsen: Life As I Pretend To Know It
15. Beth Bryan: Unskinny Boppy
16. Andi Cumbo: Andi Lit
17. Roger Spires: Twitters
18. Julie Shreve: The Esau Project
19. Jennifer Hudson: A Thousand Tongues
20. Keri Flowers: Journeys
21. Dena Griswold: Twitters
22. Keith Golden
23. Kevin Callway
24. Terra Mortensen
25. Allison Peatross
26. Jill Sexton
27. Julie Scoggins
28. Denise Buxton
29. Charles & Jan Golden 

FYI: 11 of these DON'T EVEN LIVE IN ALABAMA.

Learning moment: I directly messaged 23 of my closest friends and family members and asked them to make a donation. Three of them make an appearance on the above list. 

That's why I fancy you all so much.

Friends are not just the people you bump into at the post office. Family are not just the folks you bump into at the reunion.

Rabbit hugs for all.

And you thought I forgot about the Roku, didn't you? I did.

Congrats Sitzes! You're welcome. Email me at jamiesrabbits@gmail.com to collect your bounty. HIMYM is...wait for it...

Rabbit's Foot-Note: Another giveaway starts this week. It's killer. 

{image: Jamie}

The Post About Random Rabbits

Another post of the randomness deemed unworthy of a dedicated post.

1. Two hobbies: baking and photography. I'm mediocre at both so I'd like to focus and possibly turn one into something of substance. Unfortunately, my ADD has thrown out its "Mom Arm" and I'm not able to move forward in only one direction. 

So until I can get my diagnosis beaten down, I'll continue to dabble in both.

'Tis the season for cake pops.

And there are senior portraits. With a brother thrown in for Christmas card measure.

I took Maranda's photos in a swanky park in a swanky part of town across the street from a swanky house. Then I forced her to complete her outfit change in the backseat of a car.

Because I'm classy like that.

I was encouraged that she wasn't a complete professional at that task. 

TRUE LOVE WAITS MARANDA.

2. Christmas Shopping. I shared my parents' wish lists with you. 

Rabbit Sidebar: If you go back and read that post, you'll discover my mother's rebuttal in the comments which includes her REAL wish list. Southern mamas and their drama.

I struggle with shopping for Christmas gifts because I'm a descendant of Adam and Eve. Therefore, I tend to buy myself nice things that are on sale and make my nieces coasters out of felt.

This necklace is Exhibit A. I went shopping at a local market for jewelry for my sister-in-law and I found this vintage book necklace from Lil' Seeds. 

It can now be found around my neck.

3. S-M-R-T. Remember how I told you once about how I scored a 34 on my ACT?

Last week, I left my car running in my office's parking garage. FOR SIX HOURS.

4. Guest Post: Today I'm guest posting at Gray Hair and Acne with a post titled Cheez-its, Robert Pattinson, and Fighting Aging. I provide 5 solid tips for kicking Father Time in the shins.  

Thank you to Andi Cumbo for being such a lovely hostess. If you're a reader or a writer or somewhere in-between, then follow her on Twitter. You'll have no regrets.  

5. Winner.  

The lucky winner of the $50 Options Gift Card Giveaway is commenter #268 - Amanda Cook. She won for following AdoptUSKids on Facebook, but her response to the question about favorite family member is this:

One of my favorite family members is our cat, Fuzzy, because the kids love him SO much. And he lets them love on him, too. He is very patient with them, but he does keep them in line. He is the perfect cat for training them to love animals well.  

Furry people need love too. 

Congrats Amanda! Email me at jamiesrabbits@gmail.com to collect your bounty!

Now, Rabbit Reader, you say something. Random or otherwise.

{images: Jamie}

The Post About Mom & Dad's Christmas Wish Lists

For many years, my family faced a common holiday problem.

Receiving gifts we didn't want.

You see, we're not really the type of mothers or fathers or brothers or sisters who make "mental" notes in June when you randomly mention a razor you think scientists created just for you so that we can later place it in your stocking with care.

No.

We're the type of mothers or fathers or brothers or sisters who squeal with delight when we realize Walgreen's is still open on Christmas Eve at 7:39pm and has one of those hot chocolate gift sets with mugs shaped like reindeer heads.

Score.

A few years ago, we decided to have a family intervention and confront this weakness. 

And that Virginia, is how Christmas wish lists were born in a manger.

Jan, otherwise known as my mother, has an interesting list.

#3: Phone Card. I lovingly refer to her cell phone as a "drug dealer go phone." She should really be demanding a new phone, but those visits to the Wal-Mart kiosk may be more comforting than I realize.

#4: Shake Weight. Umm... Consider it Santa's priority that my mother receive a Shake Weight and that I film her using it.

#6: Organizer for Ms. Dixie. My mother's SUV is called Ms. Dixie. She is not racist. See #7.

#7: Darius Rucker CD.

Note: When discussing this list with my father, he tried to delete 3 of the items because he believed she didn't really want them. This is why she owns mug sets shaped like snowmen heads.

Speaking of Chuck.

#1: Lowe's Gift Cards. This is what he wants. When I gifted him with one last month for his birthday, he pulled out his wallet and added it to 4 existing cards. I furrowed my brow to which he responded "One more and I can get the chainsaw."

#2: Pair of Loppers. What are loppers? Please define in the comments.

#3, 4, 5, 6: Various. I'm not going to buy the prepackaged gift sets. I'm simply going to get a shoe box and throw in shaving cream, razors, Jimmy Dean sausage, Kraft singles, and a handful of Chick-Fil-A mints. 

Note: When discussing this list with my father, he tried to delete all of the items but #1. This is why he has a wallet full of Lowe's gift cards.

How do you handle buying gifts? Are you thoughtful and listen? Do you give cash? Do you buy whatever is left on the way to the exchange?

{images: Jamie}

The Post About Adoption and a $50 Gift Card Giveaway

{GIVEAWAY CLOSED}

I've spent November baking. Let's review the sweet smut, shall we?

That's a Pecan Pie Cupcake with pie filling as frosting in the middle. 

Yeah, I agree.

There was cake on sticks. 

Which really is the best way to eat it.

Our beloved college football was represented. I did not discriminate, although Roll Tide.

There was a method to the kitchen madness. November is National Adoption Month and I sold some diabetic unfriendliness to raise money for the cause.

Specifically, I was raising funds for my friend/coworker Lisa and her husband Barry who are adopting a little fellow from Russia.

She even got in on the baking action. My other coworkers have been supporting her efforts too!

You can learn more about domestic or international adoption by checking out the following:

AdoptUSKids is a service of the Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Children’s Bureau. The mission of AdoptUSKids is two-fold: to raise public awareness about the need for foster and adoptive families for children in the public child welfare system; and to assist states to recruit and retain foster and adoptive families and connect them with children.

Show Hope is a non-profit organization that mobilizes individuals and communities to meet the most pressing needs of orphans in distress by providing 1) homes for waiting children through adoption aid grants, and 2) life-saving medical care for orphans with special needs. 

As one more effort to help raise awareness about the very important issue of adoption, I'm hosting a giveaway.

Winner:

$50 Options Gift Card - Gap, Old Navy, Banana Republic, Piperlime, Athleta

How To Enter: {GIVEAWAY CLOSED}
Leave a comment answering this:
Who's one of your favorite family members? Why?

**2 Extra Entries**
Each of the following will give you 1 extra entry.
 

1. "Like" AdoptUSKids on Facebook or follow on Twitter.
 

2. "Like" Show Hope on Facebook or follow on Twitter.

 Make sure to leave a separate comment for each, whether you're doing it for the first time or you've already done it in the past.

Important Details: Open to anyone 18 or older in the US or Canada. Must enter before 11:59pm CST on Wednesday, December 7 to qualify. Winner will be chosen randomly using Research Randomizer and announced next week. Obviously, anonymous folks can't win unless they leave a name in the comment.  

Disclaimer: Although I'm a huge supporter of Adopt US Kids, Show Hope, and all the retailers on that gift card, none of them know the first thing about this blog or giveaway. 

{photos: Jamie}

The Post About Friends Who Are Cheerleaders and The Other Option

I was sick last Friday. The day before my birthday.

Crazy sick.

The type of sick that prompts you to consider your time on Earth and then determine it's probably been sufficient.

This was a cry for help to my two best friends:

 

Kara and Caryann provide accountability, laughter, honesty, vulnerability and a love for God that is often unparalleled. One of these confidantes is a "cheerleader" and one is a little less that.

Can you guess who's who by their responses to my text?

 

Kara is my cheerleader. Caryann is the other one.

But don't we need both? 

We need those friends who will lift us up with spirit fingers and tell us everything will be okay. We also need those friends who will shake us and ask "Have you lost your ever-lovin' mind?" 

Do you have both? Which kind of friend are you?

The Post About Getting Lost in Hawaii

Might a recommend a trip to Hawaii?

Spending 8 days on the island of Oahu was dreamy. 

Dreamy like a commute composed only of green lights. Dreamy like a pumpkin composed only of Reese's peanut butter cups. Dreamy like a painting composed only of colors God has in His palette.

I journeyed with girlfriends who are originally from 5 different states. 

Sidebar Rabbit: I prefer friends who live in other cities. It makes mooching much more productive. I'm currently looking for new friends who live in San Diego, Miami and a ski-in/ski-out chalet in the Rockies.

Our trip was made possible by my friend Caryann's Aunt Marie. She generously donated a gorgeous timeshare for her niece and her niece's freeloading friends to enjoy. 

I encourage you to find out who in your family has timeshare points and be particularly kind to them as the holidays approach.

My only complaint was the food. Too much chewy pork. Not enough pineapple whip. PINEAPPLE WHIP 2012. 

I'm a firm believer that sophisticated travelers will always find the local haunts serving dishes lovingly designed by the hands of an impoverished, yet talented cook named Mel.

However, the best meal I had was after an ugly hike to Makapu'u Lighthouse. Ronald McDonald says "Aloha."

I wish I was the type of person who only drank organic milk from Whole Foods and had season passes to the opera and didn't steal Splenda packets from restaurants. But I'm not.

I'm the type of person who takes time out of paradise and maps out filming locations for Lost. 

No shame.

So what about you - what's the best vacation you've ever taken?

Follow-up: May I stay at your house in the 2012 Rabbits Across North America Tour?

Finally, feel free to wander around my Hawaii 2011 photo album. More stories will be shared here soon...

{images: Jamie}

The Post About My Parents' Kryptonite

These two are winsome and wise. Combined, they have more than 80 years in the workforce and 40 years as parents. They know a thing or two about almost everything.

It's not their first time at most rodeos.

However, like every great superhero, there is a vulnerability. An Achilles' heel that, if left unchecked, will eventually be their downfall.

The Internet.

Exhibit A Conversation:

Mom: I've opened a Facebook account so I can know what's going on with the family since that's how everyone seems to communicate. 

Me: Great! I bet you'll love it!

Mom: However, I've opened my account as your father, so look for a friend request from Charles Golden.

Me: Why didn't you create your own profile?

Mom: I just don't think it's safe on social media for a woman by herself.

Exhibit B Conversation:

While showing him funny things on the web via my iPhone...

Dad: (chuckling to himself) I saw a link for a hilarious vacation message used on someone's work email.

Me: Really! How fun! What did it say?

Dad: I don't remember.

---------pause----------

Me: That was an amazing story Dad. You should tell that at parties.

Dad: (grumpy face) Well, I thought you could look it up on that piece of junk phone of yours.

Me: My bad.

What's your kryptonite? Is there anything you try, but can't seem to master?

I'll confess first in the comments.

{image: Jamie}

The Post About Sarcasm as a Love Language

Transcript of recent text conversation between me and Caryann.  

Character Recap: Caryann is one of my closest friends who works for a record label in Nashville.

Me: If I don't have a boyfriend by October 7, you should drive here and go to The Civil Wars show at the Alabama Theatre with me.

Caryann: Okay. I should go ahead and put it on my calendar.

Me: Shut it.

Caryann: You work with women and go to church with the elderly. I'm just being reasonable.

Me: Fooey.

Caryann: If I want a boyfriend whom I don't outweigh and doesn't question his sexuality, my pickin's are slim too.

Me: Great. We can share an apartment at the retirement complex and découpage things with our cats.

{image: Jamie}

The Post About Independence Day in Review

I'm usually not a fan of the blog recap. 

Particularly when they might make me jealous. I doubt that will be your experience here, so let's review, shall we?

My church throws a big God & Country shindig which is really a fair with fireworks and the Holy Spirit. This year we added a car show which had me thinking a hickie from Kenickie would have rounded out the evening nicely. 

2012: Kissing Booth for Jesus.

I ate a funnel cake.

And two bags of these.

With a side of this.

 

This generation...Generation Bieber...will always smile for a photo. Better yet, they will pose mid shot to help you get yours.

Since I live in Alabama, I'd like to show you how our event might be different from yours in California or Maryland.

"Insulated" mugs.

 

Wearing the flag is a sign of respect.

 

But sometimes your heart for SEC football trumps being a patriot.

My own Freedom Funness party was rained out so we had to be creative with the cooking. Since I don't really cook, the creativity started with making my friend Joseph lead the meaty charge.

You should call him at 205-555-MEATROCKSTAR and have him whip up all your protein.

My cooking contribution was an As Seen on TV EZ Disposable Grill on the front porch. I mentioned on Twitter that Yankee Candle needs to consider a WienersontheGrill scent.

If Bath and Body went that route, I'd be planning a Fall wedding. Yesterday.

 

Since baking is my claim to mediocrity, we had berry trifles in a jar for each guest. You're right, they are fetching.

So how did you celebrate the 4th? Or better yet, what would make your patriotic good times different from mine?

{images: Jamie}