The Post About Wise Critters

My facebook status yesterday was : "Jamie realizes the Star of Bethlehem is now over her house for those bugs and ickies seeking the newborn King. Luckily Herod is coming (Wayne's Pest Control.)"

You have already seen me blog about my lizard invasion (aka plague #2), which extended it's attack last Wednesday at 1:30pm. I was straightening up - putting things in their place, like a responsible homeowner, when our eyes met. I was standing in my bedroom and he was crawling on my hamper. Decisions, decisions. I had successfully rid the house of one lizard on my own (as well as the three articles of clothing I bunched up and threw out with it - bye, bye black dress.) So I thought I could muster up the courage for a repeat performance. But even after praying 2 Timothy 1:7 as a mantra - I couldn't inch closer than 6 feet away.

So I called Christy. She was napping. I called Patrick - he was eating and agreed to help (much to my surprise.) I continued to scream at random intervals because that seemed to keep lizard #4 on edge. Patrick came, got a cup, and went to hunting. The lizard sensed the danger in the red plastic cup and made a dash for under the dresser. Patrick tried to lure the critter out with his face and LED flashlight, but to no avail. Patrick proclaimed he had done all he could do. But I couldn't knowingly leave the diseased animal to roam free in my humble abode, could I? So he called Christy. She was still napping. I called Austin - who answered the phone (although he was also asleep) and came over. After begging and pleading (from me to continue the search), Austin managed to snatch the lizard from out of a crevice in the furniture. He gave the varmint a stern talking-to and let him go (in my neighbor's yard.)

Was it over?

I woke up Monday morning and there was a slug/snake in my kitchen moving at a snail's pace (I don't think it was a snail.) I sought out God's gift of courage yet again, and He said "no." So I picked a book from my library I could sacrifice (Flea Market Deals) and heaved it from 4 feet hoping to nail the sucker. And I did. And I left for work.

Christy came over at 7pm to coroner the dead.

Wayne comes tomorrow to strengthen the perimeter.


  1. My little sister has a problem with roaches. When she was 4 a roach fell from the ceiling fan into her cereal (we never had roaches before, as I recall, so this did come as quite a shock.) Even to this day they freak her out. Jamie, you clearly have some issues. Where did your critter phobia begin?

  2. My big thing is anything that stings!

  3. I think my phobia began when my brother starting throwing them at me - so longer than I can remember. And then there was the ladybug incident of 1992 that sealed it.

  4. How do you have a slug/snake? That part confused me.

  5. Critter Egypt seems to be right around the corner...

  6. Oh, like Westwood? I remember when there was a mouse... Those two times.


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