The Post About Ask and Ye Shall Perceive

I need a roof. Actually, I already own THREE roofs (rooves? no.) Apparently none of those are adequate, so I need to get rid of all them and try yet another. Since this sassy new roof will run me about $6,000-8,000, I decided to handle this dilemma like any other:

Me: Hi. It's me. You're great. Love you long time.

God: Right back at you sweetheart.

Me: Listen. I need a new roof.

God: I know.

Me: Of course. I was thinking it would be great if you could work it out so a straight line wind from a wandering tornado could hit the front tree in my yard which could then lightly fall on my house. No damage to the inside of my home, but just enough chaos to file a claim for a new roof. Therefore, only costing me $500 in a deductible. Then, I could be a better steward of Your money. What do You think? P.S. I would want no other thing or person hurt in this manipulated weather.

God: You are not the sharpest crayon I ever created.

Me: So that's a "no?"

God: Yep.


  1. I don't know which was more entertaining: the quote from the "two live crew" song Or the fact that the google ads on your RSS feed were for cheap roofing solutions.

  2. To be fair - he has created quite a few crayons. So I wouldn't take it to hard.

  3. SS: I need to be clicking on my own ads. (if it wasn't strictly forbidden...)

    S: Encouragement might be your spiritual gift. Might be.

  4. you could always pray for hail?

  5. If I were God (and some say I would be a GREAT fill-in)I would call you an idiot.

  6. A: I like options - I'll try again.

    C: Lucky for me, you're not.

  7. Very funny. Sorry about your roof though! And I never thought about it, but "roofs" does sound weird, but "rooves" isn't right either. But "hoof" turns to "hooves" so shouldn't it be "hooves". Thanks Jamie--this is going to fester!!

  8. LOL! Praise God for His sense of humor (and grace). :) He will provide...

  9. C: The English language is a bugger for sure!

    LPM: Absolutely!


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