The Post About Telling Babies Where They Can Go
Despite popular opinion, I'm not anti-baby.
I'm actually a pretty big fan.
And I only want good things for them. Things like health and wealth and wisdom.
And clean diapers.
But I do think babies need some boundaries. Places that should be off limits.
1. Airplanes. Their inability to chew gum or hold their nose while blowing should be enough to get them stuck at security. However, I know "no infants allowed" is not realistic. So how about a section just for families? In the back. Behind a curtain.
2. Funerals. I'm already sad.
3. Restaurants. Dining establishments with playgrounds and paper tablecloths with crayons included are designed for little tots. That's why I don't go to there.
4. Movie Theaters. Umm...no.
5. Weddings. Let's not ruin an already awkward unity candle or PowerPoint photo collage with a screaming nugget.
Please feel free to judge me or high five me in the comments.
Tags: Full Disclosure