I have these friends. A boy and a girl who have been hitched for 10 months. One would assume the union is nothing but rainbows and pugs when the wedding day portrait looks like this:
Rabbit Sidebar: Roll tide.
However, there's something amiss. The girl left the boy this note last week:
I'd like to address these concerns for my future husband who will likely make an identical list:
1. Full Trash: What defines "full?" Is it after my fist squish makes no impact? Is it after I can't shut the lid? Is it after I've removed the lid and built a pyramid of pudding cups taller than myself?
2. Washing Clothes: I recently studied Amanda's thorough Canadian guide to hygiene including when and how to clean your clothing. However, I'm convinced some pants just need a quick whirl in a hot dryer with a wet washcloth and a fancy dryer sheet.
3. Washing Towels: Umm...I've already covered that. I'm squeaky clean by the time I get to the towel. Plus, who of us hasn't dried off with something that is not a towel? It's what makes a down comforter so versatile.
4. Dirty Dishes: It's physics. Entry to the dishwasher requires the exit of the current inhabitants. And they won't all be gone until I've eaten 7 more bowls of cereal.
5. Emptying Pockets: Only the morning will provide the right light for assessing the value of a crumpled receipt or handful of Cheez-its.
6. Adulthood: Overrated.
Dear Future Mr. Jamie:
Do not judge me by these questionable dealings. I have other remarkable qualities. Like the baking and affection for college football. And there's the trust fund.
Yours truly,
Future Mrs. You
Do you have any habits your loved ones don't appreciate? What bugs you about your own spouse, roommate, mom? Advice for the newlywed boy and girl?
{image: Jonathan}
Hilarious!! LOVE it!! HAHA! My roommates are pretty great... only one is loud when she has company and the other doesn't know how to clean up after herself... but beyond that... it could be worse!! ;)
ReplyDeleteWe'd get along great. Until I got mad at you for not taking the trash out or leaving your clothes on the floor. Because even though I do it, it's different when someone else does. I don't know how well I'd mesh with a roommate. :)
ReplyDeleteYou put Cheez-its in your pockets too?? One time, I put a retainer in my pocket and ended up losing it. But I've never lost a cheez-it that was placed in my pocket. It's all about priorities.
ReplyDeleteIt could be worse - you could live with me. My former roommates would tell you I'm 10 kinds of fun but not great at paying the bills on time.
ReplyDeleteRoommates can bring a lot to the table. Like cash.
ReplyDeleteYou never know when you're going to need a carb fix. I consider it my equivalent to a peppermint.
ReplyDeleteCash speaks volumes...
ReplyDeleteI would follow up with the following list.
ReplyDelete1. If you notice that I am without a sandwich...make me a sandwich.
That's my list. But I'm not that complicated.
You should decoupage that onto a canvas and hang it above your fireplace.
ReplyDeleteAt this point in my marriage (12 years) this is how it goes... the trash is the only thing I really ask him to take care of inside the house (I've almost given up on whether his underwear makes it into the hamper or not...almost). You'd think if he's only asked to do 1 chore inside of the house he'd be a pro at it. But it is still hard for me to decide if I'm going to be the one to take out the overflowing garbage or if I'm going to wait a few days until he remembers that I've asked him to take it out. He never remembers that request and it usually gets taken out by me when I walk through the front door and get knocked down by the smell of it. He never smells it. I decided to be passive aggressive about this because I'm tired of bringing up the subject after 12 years, so I'm using my best friend's blog to confront. Thanks Jamie for giving me a soapbox!
ReplyDeleteJamie's Rabbit is a platform for justice. JOSEPH - DID YOU HEAR YOUR WIFE?
ReplyDeleteI think I'm pretty good at doing the things on that list, but if I got a list like that, I'd do them poorly on purpose. Out of spite. Oh good luck, future Mr. Amanda.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure God is prepping our misters right this second for the "make us one" drama to come.
ReplyDeleteSandwich.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, Chris and I are on the same page - and a page that looks awfully like yours - when it comes to these important marital habits. It's best to interview for like-minded qualities before the wedding day.. and if they don't have them, at least that way you can go ahead and begin to prepare yourself.
ReplyDeleteOmg I do all of these things for my husband all day every day.. Here, he could be doing them for himself? What the what? But I think if I gave him a list like this, he'd probably cry. Then I'd feel bad and go get him a tissue. Then wipe his tears. Then bake him cookies to make him feel better. It's a vicious circle. It would seem Mr.Shannon is a lucky sonofagun.
ReplyDeleteNot too much bugs me about my hubby...but I'm sure he's got a few things that bug him. Admittedly, I'm not the best housekeeper... but I do hope he doesn't make me a list!! lol
ReplyDeleteshe gets really irritated that i'm such a good husband and i have zero faults and not even overconfidence.
ReplyDeleteI like that Rabbit sidebar. RTR
ReplyDeleteI'll point my future spouse to this post. And to your advice.
ReplyDeleteThat last line should have been on the inside of your anniversary card.
ReplyDeleteLists are a last resort - DEFCON.
ReplyDeleteI want to know Mrs. Tyler. So I can have an adequate compare/contrast.
ReplyDeleteI include it much more often in the Fall. And when I'm sipping hot cocoa in the back of a truck.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I made a rule so as to never fight about it again: toilet seat completely down, lid and all, after any use. Everyone does the same amount of work and nobody fights.
ReplyDeleteCompromise. You shall be married for 60 years. I know it.
ReplyDelete