Do you have an FSA account? If not, let's have Wikipedia recap for us.
A flexible spending account (FSA) is one of a number of tax-advantaged financial accounts that can be set up through a cafeteria plan of an employer in the United States. An FSA allows an employee to set aside a portion of earnings to pay for qualified expenses as established in the cafeteria plan, most commonly for medical expenses but often for dependent care or other expenses. Money deducted from an employee's pay into an FSA is not subject to payroll taxes, resulting in substantial payroll tax savings. One significant disadvantage to using an FSA is that funds not used by the end of the plan year are lost to the employee.
Did you read that last sentence?
Today I find myself with $200 in "funds not used" and I have 3 days to spend it.
The above picture is my current shopping list. It rivals the most senior of adults. Its absurdity extends to the fact I have normal blood pressure, don't need reading glasses and have no idea why one uses orthopedic inserts. Yet these are the items deemed "eligible" and seem most reasonable to purchase.
Here are 10 eligible items I thankfully don't need, but I'd like to purchase anyway.
1. Ambulance Ride. I bet there's no line and no waiting if you pull up in this at the bank.
2. Body Scan. It would be my new profile picture on all social media outlets. Because I'm confident I look hot on the inside.
3. Carpal Tunnel Wrist Supports. Like the ones Wonder Woman wore.
4. Lice Shampoo. Bottom line: Does it add volume? Can I get it in a color glaze?
5. Ovulation Predictor Test. This would aid in knowing when it may be best for me to work from home.
6. Lodging at a Hospital. Who cares that New Orleans is booked solid for January 9? I hear Tulane Medical Center has lovely amenities.
7. Guide Animal. EVERYONE WOULD LOVE MY MINIATURE HORSE.
8. Hearing Aid. Sometimes I like to pretend I can't hear. This would assist with that objective.
9. Meals at a Hospital. Lunch is on me.
10. Oxygen. Occasionally I take the stairs at work.