Amanda Williams: He looks like a movie star. So distinguished yet approachable. I approve. #ofyourDad #huh?
Me: THAT'S MY DAD AMANDA.
Setup: My 8-year-old niece and I were discussing the perils of being the youngest child and how there are never as many pictures of you. Note: Her mom is adopted and I work at an agency with adoptive families so she fully understands the fabulousness of adoption.
Katelynne: How many baby pictures do you have?
Me: Not many. I'm not even certain they (pointing to my Mom and Dad) are my birth parents.
Katelynne: OOOHHH... Maybe your birth mom has cool red hair like you!!!
Me: Only if her name is John Frieda.
Setup: My coworker stopped by my office and simply stood at the door and stared at me while I was typing on my computer.
Me: (turning head slowly...) Hey.
Brock: (whispers) Are you on the phone?
Me: No. Why?
Brock: Who are you talking to?
Me: Uhh...the person I'm writing this email to.
Brock: Really? Out loud?
Me: How else do you talk to people but out loud? Weirdo.
Setup: I have seen my hairdresser 5 times in the last year. She likes to talk about my child welfare job. We'll call her Sally.
Sally: How's your job?
Me: It's good - just tough to work with such sadness in the world.
Sally: The world is going to pot. With all the alcohol and drugs and interracial marriage.
Me: {Blink. Blink.}
If you know of any non-racist hairdressers in Birmingham, shoot me an email.
Setup: My colleague and friend Connie wants me to marry someone she knows. Possibly anyone.
Connie: Is 46 outside of your age range?
Me: Hmm... That's 10 years. It depends if he's really young at heart. I tell people I'm 24 inside.
Connie: I'll do more investigating.
Me: P.S. I'm not 100% sold on someone with kids. Unless it's Matt Damon. And Luciana Damon is dead.
Comments. Concerns.
{image: Jamie}
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