10.28.2008

The Post About Halloween Candy

Trick-or-treating is not for the faint of heart. Great risks of embarassment and dog attacks and neighbors refusing to open the door do not always reap great rewards. Here are what I believe to be the worst deposits to your pumpkin...
Swedish Fish
Swim back to your Scandinavian homeland - you disgusting red concoction. Also, the tagline to this unfortunate candy is "A friend you can eat." Umm...what?
Smarties
I am always surprised by how many people love smarties. Especially since they taste like chalk. It is the poor-man's sweet tart and I choose to live rich.
Tootsie Rolls
This is not chocolate. You can tell yourself it is. But you should check your pants, because they are probably on fire.
Peanut Butter Wax Candy
You know these, right? The chewy and what seemed to be expired candy in the wax wrappers. I Googled and could not find a name for them because the creator of this nasty treat is that ashamed.
Pennies
Technically not a candy, but I don't even like to find these in my couch. There is a reason the saying is "turn up like a bad penny." Because pennies are bad.

Honorable Mention
Apples with razorblades in them. Actually, apples without razorblades stink too.

What do you hate to find in the bottom of your halloween bag?

2 comments:

  1. The worst thing at the bottom of the trick-or-treat bag, is finding the actual bottom of the bag. :o)

    And, P.S., I love Smarties. I also love ramen noodles and cheese puffs, so consider the source.

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  2. That is so, so sad...I like Swedish Fish and Smarties and I love tootsie rolls and that peanut butter "wax" candy (I don't think it tastes like wax!). Oh, and I don't think I've ever found pennies in the bottom of my halloween bag. What I used to HATE though were any type of wax anything...wax lips, wax teeth, whatever else wax you can think of...besides peanut butter "wax" candy ;)

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