As I recounted this story to my friend Caryann, she explained my poor choice could cause damage to my cornea and literally "put my eye out." I immediately poo pooed that idea and reminded her I could always get a cornea from an organ donor (It's important to have a Plan B.) She supported me by pointing out the purchase could be made on Craig's List - even encouraging me further by noting I could buy a cornea/kidney combo. She's a good friend.
Of course, I told her the whole thing was hogwash and my eye would be fine. Here's how the conversation played out:
Jamie: Nuh-uh. That's not gonna happen.
Caryann: Hasn't your eye doctor ever told you about the risk of wearing a torn contact?
Jamie: The only thing an eye doctor has ever told me is "Ma'am, you'll need to move to that side of the shop to pick out glasses. Your head's a bit big for a regular pair."
Thank you Lenscrafters.