The Post About Guidelines for my Death


I like it.

I like lists and post-its and calendars and words with lines through them.

I'm a planner when it comes to work and traveling and which drive-thru line to choose at the bank.

I'm also a planner when it comes to my impending death.

I have no reason to believe it's happening today or tomorrow, but who knows?

So. I have some ideas about what should and should not happen when I die. Here's a sample list:

1. Swag bags.
Those in attendance at my memorial should receive a gift bag including my favorite things. Cheez-its, a mixed tape, and Super Bubble gum.

2. My Facebook account should be deleted.
No moratorium on the wall. More importantly, no posting new photos of me that I can no longer untag.

3. No tombstone. I don't want to risk the placement of fake flowers or a teddy bear wearing a tutu placed near my decaying muffin top.

4. Funeral music. No songs referencing heaven as a lighthouse. No songs which consider a train or ship as the best way to get there.

5. No body. I'm all about some ashes to ashes. Plus, you can divide me up into snack bags and include in #1.

There's more where these came from.

What about you? Any last

{image: Jamie}