The Post About The Slushdicament of Winter
I love the seasons.
Two of them.
Spring: Ahh, there's the sun. And tulips and Reese's Easter Eggs and hair that doesn't have to fight static or humidity.
Fall: College football and boots and Halloween and a reprieve from bad summer TV programming.
Summer in Alabama is really not worth discussing. Humidity, bugs, and people wearing less clothing than God intended.
But the real stick in the mud is winter.
Here are the top 5 things I despise about Old Man Stupidhead.
1. Chapped lips. Lip balm causes heart disease. Because it sure as heck can't seem to moisturize lips.
2. Gas. You evil, evil utility. My cyber friend, Laurel Mills recently tweeted "...glad to have worked so hard this week just to pay the gas company." Boo to warmth.
3. Darkness. I still don't fully grasp Daylight Savings. Can we add the sassy extra hour of sleep with no astronomical effect? YES WE CAN.
4. Sadness. Closely related to #3. I don't speak to my girlfriend Kara because she's all seasonally disordered in winter. Vitamin D, vitamin D, where for art thou Vitamin D?
5. Global Warming Discussions. Nothing like some sleet to prompt opinions on meteorology. Mine included. For the record, your Facebook News Feed isn't ACTUALLY NEWS. If you don't trust Diane Sawyer, how can you trust your 4th grade lab partner who you don't see in real life to tell you what to think about anything.
What chaps your hide in Winter? Or better yet, what is delightful that I seem to be missing?