The Post About How Spanx Will Mislead Your Doctor

Isn't that a snazzy lookin' plate? We'll come back to it. 


Immediately after publishing that post, I drove home to find my 16-year-old lawn boy/neighbor had hit my house with a truck. You know, because God has AN AMAZING SENSE OF HUMOR.

Rabbit Sidebar: Twelve of us stood shivering as we watched my neighbor and neighbor friends take turns tying a chain to different vehicles in order to pull the truck off my house. Could I be more Southern?

God continues to challenge me in the area of peace. But instead of Moses' bush, God has been chatting it up through a wonky liver.

I've woken up on two different days and discovered a yellow version of myself staring back in the mirror. 

I've been distraught. 

You see, I'm a "winter" with blue eyes and mustard is not a good color on me. Also, jaundice means a trip to the doctor and the following two encounters. 

My general practitioner starts feeling my abdomen for swelling.
Dr. Gray: You look like you've lost weight. Plus, your abs feel tighter which is good.
Me: Those are Spanx.
Dr. Gray: Umm...what's wrong with you?
Me: That's why I'm here doc. 

Technician performing my abdominal ultrasound. Spanx removed.
Tech: Did Dr. Gray suggest what might be wrong?
Me: No, but I'd like you to locate a 30-pound benign tumor that can be removed prior to the end of my Biggest Loser contest at church.
Tech: Wouldn't that feel like cheating?
Me: Wouldn't it feel like winning?

So I find myself still undiagnosed but back to a delightful pasty pale color. I also have a new adopted nutritionist who says my plates should look like the above. 

I'm on board. For now.

When you eat "healthy" what's your go-to dish?  
{image: Jamie}

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