God asked me a very specific question this week:
"Jamie Beth...are you willing to lay down your dream for the dream I have for you?"
I should have hung up as soon as He used my middle name.
I've been camped out in the book of Genesis recently in order to feel better about feeling a bit lost. There's no better group of people than this motley crew to reassure you that it could be worse.
Like put-on-goatskin-and pretend-to-be-your-brother-to-trick-your-blind-father-for-the-firstborn-inheritance type of worse.
But let's focus on Abram and Sarai who later were renamed the slightly sassier "Abraham" and "Sarah."
Some time later, the Lord spoke to Abram in a vision and said to him, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.” But Abram replied, “O Sovereign Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son? Since you’ve given me no children, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth. You have given me no descendants of my own, so one of my servants will be my heir.” Then the Lord said to him, “No, your servant will not be your heir, for you will have a son of your own who will be your heir.” Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!” Genesis 15:1-5
God made a promise. But since Abram's wife Sarai wasn't instantly pregnant with a constellation of babies, things went south.
Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “The Lord has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal. Genesis 16:1-2
Rabbit Reader - no matter your faith or belief system, we can all agree there's a whole lot of train wreck in those 2 verses.
But the worst is this: "Perhaps I can have children through her."
God had dreamed a dream for this couple that didn't require their interference. Nonetheless, they took matters into their own hands. Big dummies.
Insert God calling me "Jamie Beth..."
Strangely enough, that sounds a lot like "big dummy."
I'm the worst at asking Jesus to take the wheel and then proceed directly to the driver's seat. I program the GPS. I pick the road trip snacks. I choose the playlists. And then I get grumpy because Jesus wants to pull off at all the rest stops.
JESUS - WE NEED TO BE MAKING BETTER TIME!
Recently, I've been demanding God be held accountable for dreams left unfulfilled. Where's my husband? Where's my expanded family? Where's my lift ticket to the best slopes in Europe?
And like only God can do...He answers my questions with a question:
"Jamie Beth...are you willing to lay down your dream for the dream I have for you?"
This is not one of those posts that resolve. I'm still in the middle of it.
And if you listen closely, you can hear me yelling at Jesus to get back in the car so we can go.
What about you? Has life ever turned out differently than you thought it would? Have you ever wrestled with doubt about the next steps? Did you get "mansion" in the game and find yourself living in a "shack?"
{image: Jamie}
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