The Post About Tweens and Tiaras

My youngest niece was in a beauty pageant this past week. She enjoys getting her hair done and garnering lots of attention. It's why we get along so well.

These types of events are really fantastic because even the stuff that's bad is delicious. Here were my observations.

1. My niece listed her favorite food as bacon and she wants to grow up to be a meteorologist. Like her father. THAT'S FIGGIN' ADORABLE.

2. The 10-year-old whose favorite hobby was babysitting. Time to call child protective services.

3. Kenny G is the king pageant muzak. Unfortunately he’s also the king of gynecology office muzak. Now you know where my head was.

4. The 11-year-old whose favorite food was turnip greens and wants to grow up to be a chiropractor. Are either of those actual things?

5. Five contestants listed their favorite hobby as texting. Is that as sad as it sounds?

6. Three girls stated they wanted to grow up to be artists. This pageant disclosure is their way of telling mom & dad they’ll need to move back home someday.

7.  The contestant whose middle name is "Tequila." I assume it’s what helped mom get through labor.

8. More than one contestant listed "Marine Biologist" as their anticipated career. What’s our middle school obsession with this ambition? Is it Nemo? Aquariums? Captain D’s?

9. When your favorite subject is science, you’re not allowed to choose cruise ship singer as your future career.

10. My niece was gorgeous, both inside & out. Unlike her aunt & grandma who probably shouldn’t be allowed to attend kid competitions.

{images: Jamie}