The Post About Nine Rules for Concert Etiquette

Mumford & Sweat. #itshumidyall

This is my adorably young and precious friend Maranda. She and I share a love for mascara and live music.

We recently caught an up and coming folk band as they passed through town.

Love. It will not betray you, dismay, or enslave you. It will set you free. #studyingfortonight

If you'd like to relive our experience, simply turn your shower on hot, wait 20 minutes and then blast Mumford's The Road To Red Rocks (Live) while sitting on the edge of your tub.

Your September amphitheater experience in the South is complete.

Where The White Things Are.

The first thing I noticed was the venue was a rewrite of "Where The White Things Are."

The second thing I noticed was how many concert pet peeves kept peeving up around me. As always, I am here to guide you and me as we try to interact with humans in public. Here 9 tips for concert-going etiquette.

Wear Clothes. The kind that cover dainty parts...all of them.  However, pause before wearing the band t-shirt. Especially if you just purchased it at the show.

Dance If You Wanna. Although I've reached the age where I prefer to sit at concerts, I don't begrudge the person who's so moved by an accordion that she must get her sway on. So I don't ask someone to sit and neither should you. I might pray for it, but I don't ask.

No Throwing. At this Mumford concert, I purchased a bottled soda. The cashier opened it and then threw the cap away. Apparently, concert-goers have made a habit of throwing items at the stage and the venue staff are trying to limit the options. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

No Throwing Up. I can't imagine why a musical event is better after 47oz of beer, because it's not.

Use your Eyes. How many of us go back and watch the 90 minutes of video we captured with our phones? If you raised your hand and own more than 2 sci-fi/comic shirts, then it doesn't count. Watch the live thing you paid to watch. Plus, no one's become famous for recording the video of Beyonce's hair stuck in a fan. I promise.

This is Not The Voice. If everyone is singing along to Katy Perry's Firework, by all means, join the chorus. But if she's strumming a song she wrote at 15 that you only know because you're a grade A groupie, please refrain from back-up.

This is Not The View. Once the show has started, your opinion on the government shutdown, your ex you ran into at lunch or the pants the drummer is wearing are not interesting topics to your neighbors. Keep the chatter to a minimum. This also goes for yelling. When Mumford introduced a guest musician from Nashville, a woman three rows back yelled "EFF TENNESSEE." Classy. 

No Babies. Let's not bring a little one to the show and let's not try to make one while we're there.

Be Considerate. Just remember that people can see you and hear you and smell you. Act accordingly.

Twinkle lights and British guys playing guitars? All in.

What would you add to the list? What on my list is ludicrous? Have you seen Ludacris in concert? 

{images: Jamie}

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