7/17/09

The Post About The Beach Family Photo and Why It's Wrong

I try to keep Jamie's Rabbits fenced up and separated from topics that would possibly bite. If you're ever jonesing for controversy, I'm probably not the dealer of choice. Unless my preference for peep toed shoes over children strikes a nerve.

Unfortunately, my feelings about this issue are too strong. I cannot still my fingers from typing out this diatribe.


PLEASE STOP TAKING FAMILY PHOTOS AT THE BEACH IN MATCHING OUTFITS.


Pretty Please?


Here's the thing. If you wouldn't wear these clothes out together to get dinner or see a movie, then why would you wear it for a forever photo?



Plus, let's talk about jeans at the beach. Who does that without the photographer present? Umm...the homeless.



But if you're going to do it, don't let the kid tantrum you into letting him wear his logo hoodie and ruin it even further.



And don't think you can tint the photograph and that make it artistic and moving.


Sephia + Beach Uniform = Conformity



And since we're already in the ditch on this one, surely only a mother could possibly love her child's back and calves and elbow flap enough to covet this picture. When you force your coworkers to view these attempts at artistry, they only coo out of kindness. Or because they're thinking about how much they love their own child's heels and triceps and will be photographing them later that day on the back porch.


Billy and James Robert at Panama City Beach
This is a good beach photo. Adorable children doing what you actually do at the beach in clothes that are appropriate. And I'm not just saying this because I'm legally obligated to them ("hi boys" from your fairy godmother!)


However, if your heart is still set on all I have judged (and who I am to judge anyway?)

Please accept this broken fence and sandgrass as a small token of my apology.
It waits for you.

22 comments:

  1. Wow, you really are stirring the pot here!

    Last month, I actually witnessed a family of 7 going out to eat in their khaki and white uniforms. The teenage boys looked mortified. I felt bad for them, until I realized that one day, I will do the same thing to my children. Bwahahahaha!

    I do have to say, though, I much preferred the company of the family in white/khaki to the family that came to dinner in bathing suits or the teenagers who all wore "Dirty Dick's Crabhouse" t-shirts. Ewww. (We were not eating there, by the way, and never will.)

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  2. Those first two don't even look like family photos, they look more like pictures from an "article" in a company newsletter about last month's successful corporate retreat.

    A realistic shot would be a little kid crying because he dropped his sandwich and now it's all covered in sand.

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  3. P.S.: Are you familiar with the website

    http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

    It's a goldmine, I tell you!

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  4. Nice :)

    I have to say, there's always been something slightly compelling about the white shirt, khaki pants photo to me, although we've never pulled it off.

    Now, I don't think I'll be able to with a clear conscience. Thank you for saving me from the doom that is to be permanently stuck with my family in cheesy matching outfits.

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  5. You see, I'm from the beach...we can't help it! I have plenty of beach photos, none matching. There's a way to coordinate beautifully without looking like the Bobsey twins!

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  6. Agree wholeheartedly. Next Christmas I hope to have a picture taken of my family sitting in front of our fire place. Kara will be wearing some type of high necked victorian garb while the children will have on the blue suits with white shoes and knee socks and I will be stting in a large throne like cair with my hair slicked back, monocle in one eye, snifter of brandy in one hand and a pipe in the other. Merry Christmas from the Kinnairds.

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  7. I've never been a fan of the whole khaki and white shirt thing myself. (And the jeans really. . . don't make sense). God forbid any of us show some individuality. We should start a movement.

    Sidebar: I wonder what all of the little goth kids do when it's time to take this particular family photo? One word - aneurysm.

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  8. People who dress the same and take photos are weird...the picture would have been funny if they had a dog wearing a white shirt....hehe

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  9. I'm not gonna lie, these weird me out also. But here's why: I don't want to see Grandpa barefoot. Yes, there are cute footies, but gnarled up, old man feet?! I'm fine without looking at those. So, the giant family beach photo is a big fail in that department for me.

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  10. I agree with you on the jeans but I do kind of like the white shirt and khakis looks.... although I still definitely wouldn't go out to eat all matchy, matchy. Never thought about it before but I guess that is kinda weird. I still like it though. Sorry!! Hehe! ;)

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  11. Funny! After reading your blog, I went back through my pictures to see if I had any family pictures in matching outfits. Nope! But I do have tons of Mana in cute dresses!!

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  12. I love this!!! The khakis and jeans on the beach are my total pet peeve....
    L.O.V.E. it!!!

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  13. Sam, the answer is clear-

    goth kids don't exist in the sun.

    When I have kids one day, our family photo will be us dressed as the super friends. My least favorite will be dressed as Aquaman.

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  14. As a photographer I have families that want to dress in the white and khaki or jeans. I do not prefer it and try to steer them away from it, but in the end it's there photo.
    As a mom some of my favorite photos of my son are ones of him from the back like the one I used to paint an oil pastel from in this post. http://amykiane.typepad.com/ordinarily_extraordinary/2009/06/surprising-myself.html

    In the end it's your opinion and that doesn't make it right or wrong for families to have their photos taken that way. I've known families who have lost family members through car accidents (my own extended family), cancer, etc and they are so very grateful to even have family photos and I can assure you they do not caring what the clothes they are wearing look like.

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  15. I agree with you Jamie.

    What do you think of the awful wedding shot where the groomsmen stand around the groom looking at his wrist watch?

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  16. I always try to reply to comments, but who knew this post would ignite such a response? I guess I might have known...

    L:I am also anti Dirty Dick's t-shirts.

    p-b: I laughed outloud. And then even louder upon visiting that website. Good Rec!

    R the 1st: I'm here to serve.

    R the 2nd: I'm anti-Bobsey twins too.

    J: That would be excellent holiday cheer!

    S: Do goth kids go to the beach? Surely they sit in the condo?

    A-JAT: I second that fail.

    Ashley: It's okay to like it - Jamie's Rabbits is a supporter of free speech. Clearly.

    TS: Kudos for cute dresses!

    M@HIUTTL: Yay for us!

    B: I enjoyed that Aquaman crack immensely.

    Amy: No condemnation - again, free speech is welcome! We shall agree to disagree. And kudos for the punch in the gut you served up in that second paragraph. I felt it.

    S: That would take an entire other post. I promise to get you inspirational credit :)

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  17. We are going to the beach at the end of August and we are totally doing the khaki and white picture. Too bad you didn't post this later, maybe Addie Mae could of made it on your blog!

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  18. Lots of sacred cows and Sepia tones were gored on this one - as well as hoodies, et tu Gap, et tu??  My favorite thing about this piece is your genius turn of phrase: "...attempts at artsy...", "...forever photo...", and my favorite "...since we're already in the ditch on this one..." - did I mention it's genius!  I can't wait for the punctuation to end each sentence, so I can find out what you're gonna say next! I'm officially a huge fun!  

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  19. Not much beach where I live (Sonoran Desert), so I've never witnessed this phenomenon. You say people actually dress themselves alike for these photos? Interesting.

    Having actually done portrait photography on the past, my one bit of advice--apparel choices aside--is: parents listen to your kids. If one says he has a funky tummy, don't make him go through the sitting, ok? Because the vile, pink pepto bismal-looking spew that issues forth will ruin everyone's day. Especially the photographer, who gets to enjoy the lingering aroma long after you're gone!

    That is all.

    Thanks for visiting my blog today, Jamie!

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  20. Umm...you are officially the president of the Rabbit fan club. Unfortunately, the membership only reaches the dozens. Such nice words. I'm going to make them my screensaver.

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  21. Guilty, but it was my wife's idea. I wanted to wear jogging suits and take the pics at the food court. (That's my most natural state.)

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  22. I'm trying to educate wives everywhere.

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Don't be afraid if I chase your rabbit comment...

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