I had a birthday on November 5. This was the date my blog flatlined.
It may be related to a little mid-life shindig where calm and mature self-reflection morphed into yelling at God and my friends and the ladies of The View.
WHY AM I NOT MARRIED?
WHAT IS THAT BLASTED TICKING SOUND?
WHY IS MY HAIR NO LONGER SHINY?
Seriously, what's a girl got to do to maintain some Kelly Kapowski hair?
I'll share a little more about the Rabbits being dead in the water tomorrow. I promise.
So what brought me out of this funk? It's all about a boy in skinny jeans and Toms. Let me share...
This morning, I went to Samford University, for work. For reference sake, SU is a religiously-affiliated institution.
As I drove around the gorgeous campus, I was transported to a time several years ago when I hit a boy in khakis & a polo because my laser vision had locked on an available parking spot and not the road. He was fine, so good times.
Today, as I drove 15 mph, I noticed a boy chatting with a girl in an adjacent parking lot 100 feet away. He started running. Fast.
In the next 4.5 seconds, I imagined hitting him with my car. Not in a vindictive way, but simply because it might be unavoidable. Plus, I had the right of way - no crosswalk, no stop sign. Then I thought of the wisdom of Evelyn Couch who, in a similar situation, responded "I'm older and I have more insurance."
But then he stopped running.
No collision, right?
But he started running again.
And he tripped and made out with the sidewalk. I slammed on my brakes and swerved right into a road sign.
Here's the transcript of what followed:
Me: Are you okay?
Him: Dude, you almost hit me with your car?"
- - This may have been when the director asked me to lose my marbles - -
Me: DUDE, YOU RAN OUT IN FRONT OF ME!!!
Him: I was late for Econ and I thought I could make it.
- - And then I saw them - -
Me: Dude, you CAN'T RUN in Toms. That's why the kids in AFRICA don't even want them!!!
- - I realize I'm acting like a crazy person - -
Me: Let's start over. My name is Jamie.
Him: Hi. My name is Peter.
- - Apparently, I wasn't emotionally prepared to start over. - -
Me: You're kidding, right? Of course, you're Peter.
Me: You know, doofus disciple who did stupid things before thinking?
Peter: Dude, Peter was awesome.
Me: Well, this was your equivalent of trying to walk on water.
God may be trying to rid the earth of guys wearing women's jeans and plaid shirts.