The Post About Pesky Pests in the Garden

I'm back. Back from flat Texas and rough road Oklahoma and Clintonesque Arkansas and greasy Tennessee.

Road trip recap arrives tomorrow.

While I was gallivanting all over the heated interstate, my yard was thriving.


Hydrangeas are the crown and glory.


The jewels are colorful.


And fluffy. Yes, jewels can be fluffy.

I'm road-weary.


But there is a danger lurking.

And the predator wraps its hair in toilet paper, eats dinner at 5pm and is known most often as "Nana."

She will lie in wait until she's sure the risks of capture are at a minimum.

And then she pounces. And prunes.

My only line of defense is to convert these flower bushes into touchscreen phones that play Kanye on a loop.

Then she's sure to stay away.

{images: Jamie}

The Post About On The Road Again

I'm boarding a plane to Amarillo right this second.

So I can hop in a Honda and drive back to Birmingham.

There will be stops in Oklahoma City, Little Rock, Memphis, and Nashville. And anywhere else boasting the biggest ball of twine or boiled peanuts.

This quick trip is thanks to my friend Caryann moving from California to Tennessee for new employment. I will be in the passenger seat for just under 1000 miles. We'll be staying with her family along the way.

How did she bribe me?

With good Pez.


And Pez from the dark side.


She threw in some advice for good measure.

Follow me on Twitter for mile by mile marker updates...

{images: Jamie}

The Post About My Favorite iPhone Apps

I love this little gadget. Maybe too much.

I thought I might share the applications I care for more than my plants and my eyebrows.

And then you could suggest some.

Then we would know better and therefore could do better.

I know for a fact that Maya Angelou was referencing technology.


Angry Birds. There's a reason it's the #1 game app in 49 countries. Premise: Angry birds exacting revenge on pigs who stole their eggs. I love it mainly for the sound effects and the swine who taunt me. Cost = $0.99 and worth it.


My Fitness Pal. There are mucho calorie journals, but this one wins a rabbit prize. First, you can join up via the website so no fancy phone required. Huge database of foods that not only tracks calories, but also fat, protein, cholesterol, fiber, and much more. There are inspiring message boards, a place to keep a blog, and you can have a "wall" similar to Facebook. Friends help keep you accountable. If you join or already love it, come find me - jgold15. I've lost 4 lbs thus far. Cost = FREE


Photoshop Mobile. Once you start Photoshopping, it's hard to stop without some methadone. Pictures from your less-than phone camera can be a smidge better with this handy app. Includes basics like cropping, but also has effects, color features, and filters. Plus, you can access you Photoshop online account. Cost = FREE


Evernote. It's a digital post-it note. I use to snap pictures of store displays or anything that inspires a blog post or a work project. I use it to take notes in church. Yep, I'm one of those people - but it's perfect when you want to search for a scripture or great corny joke your pastor told. I use it to record voice memos to remind me of things that don't linger due to all the aspartame I ingest. Best part - it syncs nicely with the Desktop version. Cost = FREE


Nerts. My friends have always called this Solitaire on crack. Very fair. Very fun. Cost = FREE


Movies by Flixter. This is ideal for watching trailers, getting showtimes at your favorite theaters, reading reviews from Rotten Tomatoes, and manage your Netflix queue. It's also #1 for a reason. Cost = FREE

So do tell. What apps float your boat?

The Post About Voting for The Least Absurd

Today is primary day in Alabama. Here are my observations as I anticipate a visit to my local polling place.

1. I'll probably vote in the Republican primary. Not necessarily because that's my affiliation, but because that line is crazy short. And when poll volunteers are fighting cataracts and an irritable bowel, you have to pick your battles.

2. I'll be assessing some candidates based on the names of their children. If they picked some androgynous uncommon maiden name for every one of their kids, they're not the choice for me.

3. I'll vote for any candidate who's referred to his opponents as "thugs and villains." That makes politics seem more like a comic book which I enjoy.

4. I'm more likely to vote AGAINST a candidate than actually FOR a candidate. It just makes sense. {pause - look down - look back up} Does it to you?

5. I will not be happy. Some races will simply not go my way. And I'll have an inalienable right to whine because of that "I voted" sticker.

Vote. Even if you vote for the wrong candidate.

{image: Jamie}