The Post About Avoiding Your Call

During my training yesterday on social media, one participant lamented they would rather folks just call them on the phone.

I joked "I really only use my phone for the Internet."

There's always truth in jest.

I'm not a phone person. There might be only 4 people I talk to on the telephone more than once a month. Two of them birthed me and say I'm legally obligated to ring them up.

Sidebar about that: My Mom and Dad get sad when I don't call every couple of days. However, even if I DO call, they say it doesn't count unless I talk to each of them. So if I call and speak to Mom on Monday and Dad on Wednesday; when I talk to Mom on Friday she charges that I haven't called since Monday. They became one in marriage 40 years ago, but they don't actually share very well.

I prefer email, text messages, Facebook wall posts, Twitter direct messages, and comments on my blog over calling me on the telephone.

When that ringtone starts, whether it's a classic bell or Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance with Somebody - I furrow my brow.

Can't we just write one another? It's so much quicker and more efficient.

{image: The Oatmeal}

The Post About Customizing What They Need to Know

This is the example I'm using in a social media workshop tomorrow to show my coworkers how to hide a Facebook update from a select group of friends.

I work at CAS.

Who thinks they'll have a sense of humor? Me too.

Tip to Share
Before your next Facebook posting, click on the lock icon in the lower right corner and you'll see the options of Everyone, Friends and Networks, Friends of Friends, Only Friends, and Customize. The last one lets you specify people to share with or block individually.

Mom - I've only been drunk on Cheez-its. Promise.

The Post About What's Lurking Under the Seat

I used to be one of those folks who had all kinds of drama inside my car. Empty food containers, mildewing soda cups, crumbs, unpaid parking tickets.

But then Antegeddon 2005 happened. I was driving down the road and suddenly the ants who'd taken up residence under the passenger seat had run out of crumbs. So they moved on to flesh.

They had to go.

But if you don't already know, ants are quite the squatters. Heck no, they won't go.

But they did. After a toxic combination of starvation, Aussie Instant Freeze and screeching - they moved out.

And I became a committed clean car person. No lost mascara, no uneaten waffle fries, and no missing change.

And If I happen to be tempted to have ants as carguests, then I simply replay this recent text conversation with my friend Patrick in my head. He is an INFAMOUS dirty car owner who once had an unidentified smell eventually sourced to a 2-week old cucumber.

Patrick: Guess what the carwash people found under my seat today?

Me: What?

Patrick: Two jars of mayo.

Me: You are crazy.

Patrick: I have a legitimate problem.

Me: Umm...I would think so.

Patrick: No. I missed jury duty. Probably going to get arrested.

Me: Okay. Yes. You actually have an even real-er problem than a dirty car.

Patrick: Exactly.

So are you a dirty car owner? What might we find if we peeped?

{image: "Patrick in the Creeper Van" by Allison Peatross}

The Post About The Rabbit Recommends v.65

Each weekend, I post a readable, a watchable, and a listenable of which I'm fond. You can choose what happens next. Earlier volumes can be found here.

Read

I fell for David Sedaris after falling for his sister, Amy. They're both too funny. You can't go wrong with any of his books of essays, but When You Are Engulfed in Flames is one of the best. It includes chapters on using album covers to scare away birds, dead bodies, and moving to Japan to quit smoking. I love when crazy things happen to wonderful writers. Everyone wins.

Watch

I've always had a hankering for fashion - although I wouldn't call myself fashionable. And you already know how I feel about magazines. So Vogue is much loved. I watched The September Issue this weekend and loved it just as much. It's a documentary about the making of Vogue's biggest annual issue and the reigning matriarch of fashion - Anna Wintour. It's the real-life Devil Wears Prada. And it's delicious.

Listen

This is also sort of a "watch." I love Glee. LOVE IT. And you might love it too after watching The Power of Madonna episode. If you're still not sold, I'll stop peer pressuring you. Or calling you. Or possibly being friends with you. This eppy featured 7 original performances of some of my favorite Madge songs, including the most beloved "Like a Prayer."