1.27.2014

The Post About Teens and Tiaras

Oldest niece. Pageant niece. Both adorable.

My middle niece participated in a beauty pageant this weekend. I'm always torn. Do you adore your gorgeous family member and simply ignore the discomfort you feel as each young woman parades by?

No.

You shower your beautiful niece with praise AND revel in the awkwardness of the competition by live tweeting it. The following includes actual quotes from the interview portion of the pageant.


Is it wrong to hope I've been a positive influence?


This is not completely illogical.


Geography is obviously no longer a priority in today's schools.


Suzanne Collins should have to pay the movie producers a royalty.


I've been to Hawaii. No.


Nicholas Sparks is making it rain with life lessons.


Can we all agree that the "Irish Experience" is probably heavy drinking and throwing punches?


The most honest answer of the night.


I grew up in Corner. It's not a shabby place, but it's no Cinderella's Castle.


My friend Erin Moon commented "Night is good, but is it anyone's FAVORITE book?"


If TGG was historically accurate, then Gatsby would have been taken out in the 3rd chapter for overuse of the phrase "Old Sport."

My mom is a secretary at a southern baptist church. Context.

Where would you go if you could go anywhere in the world?
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1.23.2014

The Post About Chasing Rabbits With Javacia Harris Bowser

Welcome to my series called Chasing Rabbits With _______________. I interrogate someone I know to be more interesting than me. Today, I'm welcoming writer Javacia Harris Bowser to the chase.


When I discovered Javacia's blog, The Writeous Babe Project, I knew we could be fast friends sharing a love for Beyonce, writing, and God. Not necessarily in that order. Now having met her in real life over coffee, lunch and even in a small group, she's actually out of my league. Javacia is a high school teacher and editor of See Jane Write Magazine, a lifestyle publication for women writers, bloggers, and journalists. If you write, she's your Jane.

1. What is something you wish you’d never said out loud? I wish I’d never told anyone that I’m not sure if I want to have children. When you say that to people they look at you like you’re a Martian or a terrorist, or a Martian terrorist. (I am human and I love America. I promise.) Plus, now if I do decide to have a kid I will have to deal with “I told you so” along with nausea and swollen feet. 

2. What is the strangest/funniest encounter you’ve ever had with a medical professional? After having my wisdom teeth removed I awoke from the anesthesia thinking the dental assistants were trying to attack me, so I started yelling and swinging my fists at them until my husband appeared and calmed me down. I hope those women got a bonus for dealing with me that day. 

3. Name 3 things on your bucket list.
  • Be in a Jillian Michaels fitness DVD.
  • Write a book that people actually buy and read.
  • Be Beyonce.
4. What is one of the most embarrassing things anyone has ever caught you doing? When I was about 13 one of my friends caught me singing and dancing to a really raunchy R&B “love” song that I had written. I would share some of the lyrics, but I believe this blog is rated PG.

5. What is something your parents still do not know you did? Wrote raunchy R&B songs. Hey, don’t judge me. I spent plenty of time writing Maya Angelou-inspired poetry too. That should atone for my sinful lyrics.

6. Which celebrity would you like to be friends with in real life? What would you two do on a sunny Saturday? I am obsessed with Jillian Michaels. I talk and/or tweet about her daily and I’m on a mission to buy and complete all of her workout DVDs. We’re already BFFs in my head. And in my daydreams we spend our sunny Saturdays going for a run and then we secretly eat pizza and cupcakes, but it’s OK because we burn off all the calories doing 30 Day Shred, Ripped in 30 or some other torturous, yet terrific workout of hers. 

7. What is your favorite word and why? I’m a teacher. My favorite word is “summer.”

8. Which Wizard of Oz character are you most like and why? I think I’m most like Sister Peter Marie because even though I’m a godly woman I don’t take any crap from anyone, not even convicted killers and drug dealers. Oh wait…you said Wizard of Oz, not the HBO prison series Oz. My bad.

9. What is your greatest extravagance? I’m a full-time teacher and a part-time journalist. I can barely afford to type the word extravagance.

10. What are websites/blogs you frequent that other folks should also frequent?
  • Independent Fashion Bloggers.  I’ve always wanted to be a fashion blogger but I don’t have the wardrobe or the photography skills to do so. Thus, I just read IFB daily and pretend I’m a fashion blogger. This isn’t a waste of time, though, because the site gives great tips that could be useful to a blogger of any niche.
  • Jamie the Very Worst Missionary. If you’re a Christian blogger who secretly hates Christian blogs (because let’s be honest, most of them suck), this blog will feel like a godsend. Jamie’s posts are raw and real, yet filled with her passion for God.
  • Sarah Bessey. She had me at “Jesus feminist.” It’s hard out here for a Christian feminist, but Sarah’s writings let me know I am not alone. (P.S. – this is another Christian blog that does not sucketh.)
  • A Place to Dwell. Katie’s sweet spirit and positive outlook inspire me to love my life and the people in it. 
Rabbit Readers: What is your favorite word and why?
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1.22.2014

The Post About Welcoming Teens to Twitter

A recent report found teens are abandoning Facebook in the millions. And in what I'm sure is a COMPLETELY UNRELATED move, users age 55+ have exploded with 80% growth.

So where are they going? Many outlets seem to think they're headed to Twitter.

As someone who's been tweeting since 2008, I feel it's my public duty to not only welcome Madison and Jacob, but also orient them to proper Twitter etiquette.
 
1.Tweet. Just that...say stuff. But before you post, ask yourself: Is this tweet useful or funny or insightful or interesting? Your morning eye gook does not meet any of those criteria.

2. Follow. Try and find those you already know and then consider new friends. Search for topics you're interested in like video games or photography or One Direction.

3. Follow back. If someone interacts with you by replying to your tweet or retweeting you, consider following them back. I may be projecting to those who aren't following me back. I LOVE YOU A WHOLE BUNCH MINDY KALING.

4. Share Good Stuff. Retweeting someone is the best gift ever. Unless you don't credit them, then you're what the French call "chez crookedy crook."

5. Call it. Keep the public back and forth to a minimum. Your followers don't care about you ironing out the details of your upcoming trip to the coffee shop with your ex-boyfriend's brother's sister.

6. Tweeting without ceasing. Posting more than 15x a day is a lot. Step away from your computersmartphonetablet and hug a human. Or do your homework.

7. Tweet your exits. If you decide to share your location, wait until you're leaving to tweet. Then you don't have to have IRL encounters you may not actually want to have.

8. Obnoxious tweeting. If it would be hurtful to say it in person, then it's hurtful here. Exception? Nope...there isn't one.

9 Hesitate to Hashtag. Too many hashtags are #annoying #as #all #getout. However, don't miss out on connecting to others who care about #1letterwrongmovie. This is why you tweeted "Snapes on a Plane."

10. Going over. Honor the 140 character limit. You can do it. It's why God made contractions and ampersands. However, when tweeting quotes by Martin Luther King, Jr. or C.S. Lewis, don't replace the word "you" with "u." Don't.

What are your Twitter tips for newbies?
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1.17.2014

The Post About Being a Work of Art

Framed - 42/365
One of my favorite sentences in the Bible is found at the beginning of Ephesians 2:10.

"For we are God's masterpiece."

That's who I am. That's who you are. We are works of art.

And not like art you make at camp or at Sips-n-Strokes or in Introduction to Pottery. We are Chihuly glass and Adams photographs and Van Gogh canvases. We're not hung on just any refrigerator. We grace the fridge doors of the Creator of the Universe.

But there's a dilemma.

That's not how I see myself. I let other things define me. My hobbies, my skills, my relationships, my experiences, my titles.

I am a Writer. Marketer. Daughter. Sister. Aunt. Godmother. Friend. Baker. Volunteer. Fan.

I am Single. Childless. 

However, these titles aren't really who I am. I am a masterpiece. He said so.

But are masterpieces sporadic writers? Are they bakers who leave messes in the kitchen? Are they unmarried? Are they marketers without jobs?

This chasm between what I think I am and what I really am has never been more difficult to cross than now. Unemployed me couldn't possibly be a treasured piece? What am I without to-do lists and deadlines and an organizational email address?

I am enough.

Thankfully God is prone to repeat Himself. Not because He forgets, but because we do.

Psalm 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
It's important to remember this was written by David. A guy who was a polygamist, murderer, adulterer, and pretty crappy father. Yet he didn't let those titles define him. He knew he was a work of art. He knew it full well.

Let us know it full well too.

{image: Jamie}
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