The Post About Good Friday Mix-A-Lot

"The cross was two pieces of dead wood; and a helpless, unresisting Man was nailed to it; yet it was mightier than the world, and triumphed, and will ever triumph over it."

Augustus William Hare

As Holy Week wraps, I'm reminded of what it represents. 

It's not just the death of Christ, but the death of my guilt. My hopelessness. My loneliness. My fear.

It's not that I don't feel these things. I sometimes mail engraved invitations to those very emotions and let them camp out in my front yard. 

No worse squatters can be found.

But their stay is always short-lived. I have access to the best eviction service - Jesus.

I hope you have access too. Everyone can.

needtobreathe - Garden

Nichole Nordeman - Crimson

David Crowder Band - Never Let Go

Joy Williams - Beautiful Redemption

Hillsong United - Aftermath

Bethany Dillon - You Are On Our Side

The Post About Taco Bell Judgment

I now consider these equal to fortune cookies in terms of their insight.

My "midsection" is actually 28% mexican food, so who's really to blame here?

I think this may be a reference to my wedding day.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

{images: Jamie}

The Post About The Least Sexy Bustier

My co-worker, in her 2nd trimester, discovered this delightful nugget while browsing for her baby registry.

It's the Medela Easy Expression Bustier which can be purchased in various sizes for only $33.99 at Toys R Us.

Umm...okay.

Let's review my primary concerns:

1. I understand wanting to dial up a friend and catch up after you've spent most of your days focused on things like tummy time. But must you multitask in this way? To my mommy friends who might find themselves in this scenario - when I call and ask "What are you doing?" please consider it a rhetorical question.

2. Notice she has pumped equal amounts of milk in each bottle. Most women don't have symmetrical breasts, so I find this visual proposal difficult to swallow. Pun intended.

3. This DOES prove my assertion that breastfeeding is the best way to lose weight. Look at her abs. However, you probably have to wear this all day to get those types of results.

And to answer your question...yes, it's now my gift of choice for all expectant moms. 

And for friends of child-bearing age who are struggling to lose that last 10.

{image: Toys R Us}

The Post About Why a Blackberry and iPhone Can't Be Friends

Text conversation with my friend Caryann after 11pm one night this week. It began when I heard the cheesiest song ever on the radio. I wanted to blame her since she works for a record label. 

The song and artist names have been changed to protect the non-enemy of the Cross.

Me: "Name of song" by "John Doe" is worst Christian song ever. That includes all of Stryper's catalog.

Caryann: That's a bold statement. You haven't heard all of "John Doe's" songs.

Me: Touché.

Caryann: Ummm...what? 

Me: Sound it out. You can do it.

Caryann: I don't know what you mean?

Me: Touché is a COMMON term meaning "good point." It was a compliment you loser.

Caryann: If you mean touche, I've never seen it written that way. I didn't know.

Me: It's French. And you just wrote it the exact same way without an accent mark. Do I need to call 911? Are you seeing spots?

Caryann: Well that explains why I couldn't figure out what you meant. It says the word "touch" with a period & then a question mark.

Me: Your Blackberry is stupid. And racist. Viva la iPhone.

Me: P.S. This is going in the blog. 

Caryann was kind enough to post the following on Twitter in the middle of this conversation:  

texts from a friend making no sense. I can't tell her if it's that her iPhone auto-correct strikes again, or she's a wee bit tipsy. 

Mom - I was not tipsy. 

{image: penmanila}